Bad Bill

First, I want to say to all of you that, as you might imagine, I have been on quite a journey these last few weeks to get to the end of this, to the rock bottom truth of where I am and where we all are.

I agree with those who have said that in my first statement after I testified I was not contrite enough. I don't think there is a fancy way to say that I have sinned.

President Bill Clinton, September 11, 1998; addressing his sin

President Clinton is using touchy words to make a simple fact much more complicated than it need be. Granted that this is a president speaking to his nation and there should be some sort of eloquence to it; there is a basic message to all of this that could be said in a much shorter way. The biggest problem with this statement is that he is trying to play-down the fact that he lied to the nation.
He says that his original statement was "not contrite enough". He wasn't sincere enough? Come on, he came out and straight lied to the nation. "I did not have sexual relations" is a very contrite statement. He was very sincere with his lie.

He refers to what has been going on as a ''journey'; but there is no journey going on...only a twisted path of lies. He beats around the bush as the rest of us simply want him to come out and admit that he cheated on his wife, or "sinned", as he called it. By saying he sinned it almost dumbs it down to mean less to the rest of us. All of us sin; but not all of us cheat on our wives. That is something that is going to affect the emotions of religous people and atheists alike.

The way he could have said this is pretty simple.

"I apologize to you all as I have lied for the past few weeks. I did in fact have sexual relations with that women and am an adulterer. I am deeply embarrassed and hope that in time you can all forgive me for taking you all down this path of lies I have led you on."

That would be a little bit more clear.

Devin Kelley

Speech Blog

”America needs to secure our borders -- and with your help, my administration is taking steps to do so. We're increasing worksite enforcement, deploying fences and advanced technologies to stop illegal crossings. We've effectively ended the policy of "catch and release" at the border, and by the end of this year, we will have doubled the number of border patrol agents. Yet we also need to acknowledge that we will never fully secure our border until we create a lawful way for foreign workers to come here and support our economy. This will take pressure off the border and allow law enforcement to concentrate on those who mean us harm. We must also find a sensible and humane way to deal with people here illegally. Illegal immigration is complicated, but it can be resolved. And it must be resolved in a way that upholds both our laws and our highest ideals.”

President George W. Bush January 28, 2008

I believe that this statement by the president hold an empty answer. By empty answer i mean that he is just tell people whatever they wanted to hear to help them feel more safe at night. I the address you can see that there isn't a really clear solution on how he is going to solve the problem. It is all just blind trust that the people must put into him and his administration. when he brings up the issue on solving the problem he just states "we will never fully secure our border until we create a lawful way for foreign workers to come here and support our economy." This shows that he has given little thought on how to solve the problem and that he doesn't even know how. This empty answer is just his way of letting someone else deal with the problem and tackling it himself. Another example on how this piece blurs the truth is the expression "Catch and Release" statement. By catch and release what does he really mean by that. It seems that his administration have been just catching illegal immigrants then just tossing them back into Mexico. Is that what we really pay taxes for? I believe that this was a long problem and that it just didn't spark up right at the end of his term as president.

"America needs to secure our borders. First by hiring more Agents to patrol the border. Then by working with the Mexican government to help prevent illegal crossings. This will be costly but if the American people believe it is necessary then it will be done."

Robbie's blog post 9-28

“Specifically, we will make every effort possible to help spread democracy for those who desire freedom, independence, tolerance, respect for equality. That is the whole goal here in fighting terrorism also. It's not just to keep the people safe, but to be able to usher in democratic values and ideals around this, around the world.”
-Sarah Palin, interview with Katie Couric, 9/25/2008

The question was asking about Palin’s opinions on past attempts of spreading democracy and how she would help the spread of democracy. This quote was her response to that question. First, Sarah Palin completely avoids the first question Katey Couric asked. She doesn’t state lessons she had learned from the past few years or how she plans on changing the ways to spread democracy.
Palin’s statement here is repetitive. Therefore, you can eliminate the entire second half of this quote and make it more a more efficient statement. Words like freedom, independence, tolerance, and respect for equality can be summed up into one word. That word could be just freedom. Perhaps, it could be replaced with liberty or any other synonym.
Finally, there is a word so often used that I feel like it has lost any meaning that it would have otherwise had. This word is “terrorism”. Every day, at least five times, I hear this word. Each time, this word loses a little more meaning. This word is an excuse to do anything. It motivates any action by government.
In analyzing this, I have definitely broken some of Orwell’s rules, but sometimes it is necessary to accomplish some goal.


Rewrite of above quote
We will do our utmost to spread democracy to nations that welcome it and its values.

Brandewie's Blog

Words from Senator McCain’s acceptance speech at Republican Nation Convention
"I fight to restore the pride and principles of our party. We were elected to change Washington, and we let Washington change us. We lost the trust of the American people when some Republicans gave in to the temptations of corruption. We lost their trust when rather than reform government, both parties made it bigger. We lost their trust when instead of freeing ourselves from a dangerous dependence on foreign oil, both parties and Sen. Obama passed another corporate welfare bill for oil companies. "

Dissecting an acceptance speech is great way to learn about the many persuasive techniques of the English language. Many campaign workers spend countless hours crafting the perfect speech that can resonate with the majority. Needless to say, although these words said live in front of thousands of people, they are in no way the adlib thoughts of the politician. Each sentence is thought through and precisely placed in the speech for a reason. Politicians must convince thousands of people: why they are right, why they have all the answers for the future, and why they are better than the other candidate. Today, in my common place blog, we take a look at John McCain’s acceptance speech as the Republican nominee for President of 2008. This particular paragraph addresses the state of the Republican Party. Many argue that the party has taken a hit with the unsuccessful current term of President Bush and many scandals within their party. In the first sentence, McCain specifically addresses the concern that the Republican Party has lost pride and principles. However, cleverly he does not say anything losing pride and principles; rather he just mentions that he will fight to restore it. This language usage is almost a trick technique to distract from the percieved downfall of the Republican Party. The first sentence includes a strong verb, fight, when many other writers would have constructed the sentence to use fight as the noun. This was an excellent way to avoid a weak nominalization. In the second sentence he uses two words that help deliver an effective message: change and Washington. According to National Public Radio website, Polls have shown that more than two thirds of likely voters believe that America is heading in the wrong direction. Thus the word change is used to display that the nominee is not going to keep with the status quo. Also, the word Washington is cleverly used to exhibit that John McCain is not part of the current government that is viewed so poorly, even though he is a senator. Also throughout the speech McCain uses general phrase that evoke emotions such as, Dependence on foreign oil. Discussed in the Orwell essay, these phrases may not truly address an issue, rather bring out a emotion in the people that will bring them towards the politician’s camp. Below the first sentence will be restructured for another sentence that could be used for a political speech.
I volunteer to restore family and community in our city.

Blake's Blog

What a year we Democrats have had. The primary began with an all-star lineup. And it came down to two remarkable Americans locked in a hard-fought contest right to the very end. That campaign generated so much heat, it increased global warming.
Bill Clinton, Democratic National Convention, August 27, 2008

This is a very good statement by Bill Clinton. He is direct and to the point with this quote. He praises both candidates when he says all star line up. Bill also calls both candidates two remarkable Americans. He describes very well how close the two fought for their position. At the end of the phrase he uses a great metaphor. With the great use of the metaphor this will help people remember what was said in his speech.
The phrase is divided into two parts. In the first part, Clinton praises the Democrats and the two candidates. He includes many good adjective including all star and remarkable. With Clinton praising the two candidates, Americans will think that they are great people. This is a very good persuasive speech for the Democratic Party.
The second part of the phrase is a very good use of a metaphor. It is very smartly used because global warming is a big topic in America today. The metaphor also uses some humor in it. This will allow people to not get bored with his speech. I think Clinton did a very well job getting his point across to the American audience.
The Democrats have had a great year with two nominees battling for the presidential candidate. The campaign has cause a lot of heat.

"For those who lost loved ones, it's been a year of sorrow, of empty places, of newborn children who will never know their fathers here on earth. For members of our military, it's been a year of sacrifice and service far from home. For all Americans, it has been a year of adjustment, of coming to terms with the difficult knowledge that our nation has determined enemies, and that we are not invulnerable to their attacks."
- George W Bush, 9/11/02


This section of President Bush's address to the nation one year after the September 11 attacks grew great interest to me. These sentences parallel each other as you read them. All three sentences have "it's been a year" embedded inside them. President Bush uses this phrase to emphasize the time in between now and the time those horrible events took place, one year ago. The three topics President Bush singled out share a common action as well, suffrage. The love ones suffered because they lost their significant half, the military suffered since they are away from their families and friends, and Americans suffered knowing that their is a country that wants to destroy them. To end this section, President Bush makes a bold statement claiming that us Americans are "not invulnerable to their attacks." This sums up the attitude of the people of the nation. When the towers were attacked, we responded with force. We did not hide and get pushed around.

"This past year, lost loved ones, members of the military, and Americans have gone through great suffrage. Newborn babies have no clue who their fathers were. Our military have been away from the peolpe they love, some never seeing them again. Americans need to adjust to the fact that we have a distinct enemy now."

Political Speech

"Our nation enters this conflict reluctantly, yet our purpose is sure.  The people of the United States and our friends and allies will not live at the mercy of an outlaw regime that threatens the peace with weapons of mass murder."

 -President Bush, declaring war on Iraq, 3/20/03

This quote is interesting and I had to read it a couple of times to make sure it was the correct one for this blog.  The way President Bush declares war on Iraq is cunning.  Without rereading his speech I would not have picked up on the word "reluctantly", which is an adverb the blurs the truth.  The people who did pick up on this word during his speech will think he has a heart and does not want to go to war, but because Iraq has weapons of mass murder he is forced to. According to Macintosh's dictionary reluctantly is unwillingly or hesitant.  I believe ever since 9/11 he has always wanted to go to war, but needed some more proof.

If the nation is so reluctant/hesitant to enter this conflict then how can the purpose be so "sure?"  He put the word sure, which is his real motive on going to war, to tell people he is confident about the war.  President Bush goes on with the next sentence to give an example as to why we are going to war with Iraq.  If the United States "will not live at the mercy of an outlaw regime that threatens the peace with weapons of mass murder" then why are we so reluctant to go to war?

"Our nation enters this conflict readily, yet our purpose is sure.  The people of the United State and our friends and allies will not live at the mercy of an outlaw regime that threatens the peace with weapons of mass murder.  

Weekly Blog 4_Lunkun Deng

To uphold the words of the Charter in the face of this challenge, every nation in this chamber has responsibilities. As sovereign states, we have an obligation to govern responsibly, and solve problems before they spill across borders. We have an obligation to prevent our territory from being used as a sanctuary for terrorism and proliferation and human trafficking and organized crime. We have an obligation to respect the rights and respond to the needs of our people. (George W. Bush)

This final address that President Bush made to the United Nations General Assembly on September 23, 2008 is indeed an excellent sample for political speech.

Generally speaking, this period follows those “Rules” for political/public speech. First almost all the words are short, simple yet powerful! Those verbs such as “govern”, “respect” and “respond” figure out the obligatory action of our government. Also the adjectives, for instance, “responsibly”, exactly modify those actions. Second, there’s seldom a foreign phrase, a scientific word or a jargon. So it’s easy for the public to understand the contents. Third, every word seems indispensable. All these words build up this well-organized paragraph.

Also the structure of the paragraph is very nice. From the second sentence on, the three sentences with “we have an obligation to” use the PARATAXIS to enhance the statement. Although “have an obligation” seems to be an example of nominalization, it is in perfect usage because it sums up and names a concept to all the following specific factors. It is the key element of the PARATAXIS structure as well.

However, it will be better if we improve it at some minor aspects. The third sentence, “We have an obligation to prevent our territory from being used as a sanctuary for terrorism and proliferation and human trafficking and organized crime.”, uses the passive voice. The “prevent….from….”is a set phrase, but if we change parts of the sentence into active voice, the expression will be more direct and easy to understand.



To uphold the words of the Charter in the face of this challenge, every nation in this chamber has responsibilities. As sovereign states, we have an obligation to govern responsibly, and solve problems before they spill across borders. We have an obligation to prevent terrorism and proliferation and human trafficking and organized crime from spreading in our territoriy. We have an obligation to respect the rights and respond to the needs of our people.

Ethan Flater blog 4

Ethan Flater
“Tonight, we are a country awakened to danger and called to defend freedom. Our grief has turned to anger and anger to resolution. Whether we bring our enemies to justice or bring justice to our enemies, justice will be done.”

President George W. Bush, after 9-11 attacks, September 20, 2001

In this quote Bush uses words like justice, freedom, and resolution, to tell us what we are going to do about the attack that was done to us. He does this in a way that softens what he is actually saying. He hides from the bluntness of what the statement is trying to say. The word freedom is the American people; we are going to defend ourselves from being attacked. Resolution is the attacks we are going to give back out of retaliation, and justice is our revenge on the people who attacked us no matter who it is.

The United States of America has been attacked. We will retaliate on the ones responsible. We will have our revenge one the ones who attacked us.

This quote is completely appropriate for this situation. When this was given the people in our country wanted to fight back, they wanted to do something to help. George Bush gave them something that we were going to do in this quote, but he said it in a way that the people could all look at it and think it was the right thing to do. At the time it was the right thing to say. It draws support for what he wants to do later on in the speech. It is powerful the way the president uses words such as: freedom, resolution, enemies, and justice these words all convey a sense that we are going to do something about the attacks done to us on September 11, 2001, but it is not put bluntly or concretely so we don’t seem like we are just mad with rage in what we say. Even though it is what this quote means. This is a classic case of a political speech where the uses of words that are not concrete help to achieve what they want in a certain situation. At the time America needed to hear these words. The people got what they wanted and the government got there support by giving them a quote that was clear but at the same time hiding what they were really saying.

tyler presley

"Incredibly, incredibly Sen. Obama didn't go to Iraq for 900 days and never asked for a meeting with Gen. [David] Petraeus." - Senator John McCain at the Presidential Debate. 8/26/08

This particular piece of information is irrelevant to the fact about the troops in Iraq now. The whole point of the invasion of Iraq was to find weapons of mass destruction and to get Hussein out of power. Hussein is out and the Iraqis do not have weapons of mass destruction, so why are the troops still there? McCain didn't fire shots in Iraq nor did he get shot at. McCain wasn't trying to prove a point he was trying to make it look like he was helping the situation by going over there when in fact there is no substantial evidence that proves he did anything. I believe that he was straying people away from what is actually going on over there by making people think he's some kind of hero. And unless he has done something that either helps withdraw the troops or helps work towards the goal of whatever it is they're trying to reach now he needs to keep his two cents out about him going over there.

"Senator Obama did not spend 900 days in Iraq and he did not ask for a meeting with Genral David Petraeus."

Grant McCloskey Week #4

“From expanding opportunity to protecting our country, we've made good progress. Yet we have unfinished business before us, and the American people expect us, In the work ahead, we must be guided by the philosophy that made our nation great. As Americans, we believe in the power of individuals to determine their destiny and shape the course of history. We believe that the most reliable guide for our country is the collective wisdom of ordinary citizens. To get it done”

President George W. Bush State of the Union Address January 28, 2008.

This is the kind of language that Orwell hates in political speeches. It isn’t really clear what they are going to do about the unfinished business. In the paragraph before or the one after, there isn’t any inclination of them doing something about the protection of our country.

It leaves the audience on the edges of their seats. He identifies a problem, and then we are left in the balance not knowing any solution.

So in a sense yes we do expect but how are we supposed to achieve it without further explanation from the speaker. Its like you are given a writing assignment and you are only told that it has to be in 12pt. font and double-spaced.

All is said it that it is up to us to decide what we want to accomplish with things like national security, how is that up to us? I just really feel like it leaves us hanging on waiting for an answer, or a solution. After all, isn’t that the point of this entire speech?

The main point is finish you statements and don’t leave the audience left out, and say it is on us to fix it and not on you as the government who put us there in the first place.

 “From expanding opportunity to protecting our country, we've made good progress. Yet we have unfinished business before us, and the American people expect us, In the work ahead, we must be guided by the philosophy that made our nation great. As Americans, we believe in the power teamwork, so together we will accomplish the goal. With all of our power striving forward “Together” we can’t be stopped from reaching our goals.”

 

Web Blog #4- Nick Curosh

“And if you will join me in this improbable quest, if you feel destiny calling, and see as I see, a future of endless possibility stretching before us; if you sense, as I sense, that the time is now to shake off our slumber, and slough off our fear, and make good on the debt we owe past and future generations, then I'm ready to take up the cause, and march with you, and work with you.”
—Barack Obama, Announcement for President Speech, February 10, 2007

As I was searching through numerous quotes, this very long yet powerful sentence from Barack Obama’s campaign speech caught my attention. Obama’s use of strong action verbs such as stretching, shake, slough, march, and work bring energy to his speech as well as inform the reader that he is ready to work alongside us and endorse new, positive change. These verbs make his claim concrete and persuade the reader to contribute to his extraordinary cause. Also, throughout this sentence, Obama uses pretentious diction to glorify his claim. He uses words such as quest, cause, and destiny to transform his basic political statement into a destined voyage were the common people will “fight” and hopefully, “make good on the debt we owe past and future generations”. To an ordinary citizen, Obama’s speech is very enticing. He is calling them to take up arms (figuratively) and to join his crusade.

This sentence can be considered propaganda however in a good way. Obama effectively twists the simple task of acquiring political support into a quest for the future success of our country. Obama is successful in “recruiting” these new followers because of his unique tone. He incorporated numerous action words and ideas into a faced paced sentence which does make the reader feel overwhelmed yet involved in all of the intense action. It is Obama’s simple, dynamic tone that keeps the reader occupied in the up-tempo beat of his “march”.


“And if you will amalgamate me in this unconvincing pursuit, if you heed destiny summons, and see as I see, a forthcoming of infinite contingency stretching before us, if you sense, as I sense, that the instant is contemporary to totter off our dormancy, and slough off our trepidation, and make good on the arrearage we owe retrospective as well as subsequent procreation, then I’m primed to take up the crusade, and traverse with you, and labor with you”
Nick Curosh

I'm not hiding,
I'm just buying some time for us to find the back door
We will come out when it's safe for us
Emery-Playing With Fire

This comes from one of my favorite songs ever of anything that has ever been. I'll bet that made sense to you.
There is a hidden emotion in this line. That emotion is fear. The singer is afraid of what will come of his current situation; but tries to pretend that he is simply rationalizing. He is afraid to follow what his gut tells him, what his heart tells him.
Structurally it almost seems as a simple statement. This flows as a regular sentence. It's a simple rationalization to cover up what he really wants to say. I like how that sounds though, it sounds like a real person; which is helpful for this type of music. This allows the listener to relate to the song.

Who's hiding? I am just letting opportunity pass me by. There's no need for chancing this.

Devin Kelley

Blog 3- 1st Corinthians--Jake Moore

"Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training.  They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. "  1 Corinthians 24

This is the second verse to 1 Corinthians 9 24:27.  The first sentence explains why they compete in the games.  This is a crucial part to the verse because it is "strict" training not regular training to get in shape.  The first part of the second sentence goes on to explain why they train so hard.  When some people train they do it for just satisfaction and not total glory, but others train with all their hear and power to be the best.  This is where the second part of the sentence comes in.  If a person trains their hardest no matter how they finish they know they could not have done any better and be satisfied with themselves.  More than likely if a person trains one hundred percent they will be on the top at whatever it is.  

Paul the writer of 1 Corinthians uses a popular subject, athletics, to preach on how to live for Jesus.  This gets the readers interest and will help their comprehension.  He says everyone that goes to Church is given instructions on how to live eternal life.  The ones who just go to Church to say that they are religious and have God in their life will get the temporary "crown." On the other hand, people who live by the Word and preach it will will always have the prize.  In the second sentence the semi-colon throws a nice change of pace in the verse.  The semi-colon makes the second half of the sentence more bold and will help the reader to remember that part more thoroughly.  It puts more emphasis on the second part of the sentence.  Instead of combing the two sentences with a comma and having the same impact between both statements; it shows how big of a difference it is to get a "crown" that will be temporary to a "crown" that will last forever.  

"Animals who live by survival of the fittest train hard.  The weaklings will not last, but the Alpha Males who give their all will always be on top."

Jake Moore

Brandewie's Blog #3

If I were to draw a picture of America today, it would be of the space shuttle taking off. There is all this thrust coming from below. But the booster rocket — Washington — is cracked and leaking energy, and the pilots in the cockpit are fighting over the flight plan. So we can’t achieve escape velocity to enter the next orbit — the next great industrial revolution, which is going to be E.T., energy technology.
This is an editorial from the New York Times, from the Sunday 21, 2008 edition. It is by Thomas L. Friedman, it is an editorial about how our government is not doing enough to get ourselves out of the energy crisis. I believe editorials are generally a source of good writing because in an editorial, a writer is given free rein to write about a topic that he or she feels passionate about. In the first sentence Friedman uses a metaphor comparing our country to a space shuttle. If the metaphor were to end right here you may believe that Friedman only saw great future and potential for the United States. I think of a space shuttle as a positive metaphor rather than a negative one. However in the next sentence he explains, “But the booster rocket — Washington — is cracked and leaking energy, and the pilots in the cockpit are fighting over the flight plan.” He shows the things that he disagrees in the government effectively with the metaphor as his tool. If Friedman would have just stated, “Our energy plan in America is not working,” It would have not been nearly as convincing as comparing it to a dysfunctional space shuttle. In the next sentence, the metaphor is continued by just saying we can’t enter the next orbit; now the metaphor is further entered the readers mind by stating we. We, a collective pronoun, now include the reader into the article. Now I will take the first sentence and show how it can be remodeled into another good sentence.
If I were to draw a picture of Wabash today, it would prove to have kept many of the historic traditions of the past.

Grant McCloskey Week #3

“With a little love, and some tenderness. We'll walk upon the water, we'll rise above this mess”, Hootie and the Blowfish, Hold my Hand

 

I really like to listen to music, especially when you really listen to the lyrics. In the song Hold my Hand there is an excerpt that I find particularly appealing to me, it is at the opening of the song. It is almost like a preview of the song, much as an introduction to writing. The song states that “with a little love, and some tenderness” almost as actions that you should do, then it goes on to say “we’ll walk upon the water, we’ll rise above this mess”, then as a result of your actions you can rise above you situation to something higher.

I really like the structure of the two sentences and how they work together. The first is almost a call of action, do this; and then followed by the second, which is almost as a result of you actions, this is what will happen.

This is really powerful to me just because it is almost a call to action. I really feel that this is something that I could use in my work because when you are talking about s problem or event that need to be solved, you can use your speech to call to order with what you need to do to accomplish that task.

 

“With hard work, and dedication. We’ll win this battle, we will win this war”

Weekly Blog 3_Lunkun Deng

A usage dictionary is not a bible or even a textbook but rather just the record of one smart person’s attempts to work out answers to certain very difficult questions. (FOLIO, 42)

The sentence uses a powerful way to define a subject. First the author gives two negative examples to clarify what the subject shouldn’t be. By using simple words such as “but”, “rather” and “just”, the author makes a turning point to exactly define what the subject should be. The author combines denials and upbuildings to define the subject briefly and clearly.

A true love is not a diamond or even a promise but rather just the ordinary actions of one responsible person’s attempts to comfort the very tenderness of her/his dearest.

Blake's blog

Now, I say to you today my friends, even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream. I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: - 'We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.'

Martin Luther King Jr. (1929 - 1968), Speech at Civil Rights March on Washington, August 28, 1963
This is a very bold statement made by Dr. King. He addresses the whole audience as if he knows each and every person. Every time he talks he refers the audience as we, even though he actually knows no one in the crowd.
Dr. King states that the nation is not holding its promise to treat all people the same. In this phrase he states that he thinks the nation will rise up one day and live out its true creed. This is a very bold statement for someone to make about his own country, especially for a black guy at the time.

weekly blog 3

"I made a remark a long time ago, I said I was very pleased that television was now showing murder stories, because it's bringing murder back into its rightful setting-in the home." Alfred Hitchcock

Hitchcock’s run-on sentence is one factor that eventually makes his irony so powerful at the end of the sentence. The run-on sentence allows Hitchcock to get his point across quickly and brings together his opinions from two different time frames. The beginning of the sentence deals with a remark Hitchcock made many years ago, while the end deals with present day issues in a very comedic way. It seems that after the television started showing murder stories there might have been an increased level in crime.(?)

Another technique Hitchcock uses to ensure his ironic tone is the use of the hyphen. The sentence is generally somewhat long and by the time the reader gets to the hyphen it forces him to pause or slow down to understand the humor at the end of the sentence. As I first read this sentence, I was not expecting the type of ending I received. The hyphen essentially connects a very powerful phrase to the end of the sentence that was not expected to be there.


“I made a resolution a long time ago, I would strive to be the best basketball player I could, because, in the end, it is the hard work and dedication that will transform me into what I aspire to be—a champion.” Nick Curosh

Weekly blog

"People dont want heart Dick, they want wins"- The Invincible


In the real world today this is true. It's ridiculous but its true. People remember the outcome of situtations instead the heart that was put into it. Professional athletes are the biggest example of this quote, all they care about is how many zero's are on their pay check or how many endorsements they get or the publicity they may encounter. These athletes forgot about why they made it to the professionals in the first place. Their whole life they were giving 110% in everything they did. Collegiate athletes are the last line of people who still care about the game they play.

That's a bad memory

Patrick. We got to do Patrick. The thing is, I think I'm--what do they call it--denial, in denial, Patrick. I swear, I'm sitting in the office and the door opens, and I think he's gonna walk in."

This is a line out of The Guys by Anne Nelson. One of the main characters, Nick, is distraught when it comes time for him to write the eulogy of his best friend. This shows how weak any man can be. In times of tragedy people are unable to accept matters, however this line shows that he is aware of reality, aware of what has happened; but he simply refuses to accept those facts. Everybody faces these moments in their lives. Everyone will be faced with more of these moments and we will be in a position of denial. This is a very human moment and a very emotional moment in the play. Personally I almost teared up reading this; my family has faced similair tragedy...so memories were brought up.

"No...That cannot be. She was just here--maybe 45 minutes ago--how could this of happened? She wasn't upset for any reason. Her car is still there, so how could she of done this?

Weekly Post

"Love is not what we become, but what 
we already are."

~ Stephen Levine

Myspace.com

This is a quote from a post I received on my myspace page and I  thought it would be a good choice for the blog. I had never heard anything from Stephen Levine but this one quote made me think about love and how people look at it. "Love is not what we become, but what we already are." this is can kind of strange since we really can actually become love. Love is already there it is just waiting for someone to come along and complete it. I believe that this quote is trying to teach us that we should not be trying to make someone love us, we should go out and find that one person that will love us for who and what we are. 

This sentence also uses that comma to help break the sentence and make it so the reader has to pause before reading the rest of the quote. This give a certain flow to the sentence that would not be there if the comma was not. 

"A hero is not what we become, but what inspire to be."

second blog

"If you worried about falling off the bike, you'd never get on."
-Lance Armstrong

This quote by Lance Armstrong has much meaning to it. The first part of this sentence states a problem that people face in life. In this instance, Lance Armstrong is talking about riding a bike. The second half of this quote talks about what you can do to prevent this problem yet miss out on many life experiences. This quote is inspirational to help you learn how to ride a bike. Even though Lance Armstong is arguably the greatest cyclist in the world, he has fallen off his bike. You need to push through those fears to enjoy the outcomes.


If you worry about losing a match, then your not going to try to win, but try not to lose.

“That week you could have scored big in a rent-a-baby trade” Ann Nelson, The Guys

 

I really like this excerpt from The Guys; it was a sort of comic relief to break up the very intense beginning to the play. The play starts with Joan describing the events of September 11, it gets really heated and makes you ask questions to yourself about the event, and what your gut reactions were. She then breaks this intense moment by dropping this line, which you don’t know if you should see it as being funny or to be offended. I took as funny, and she was trying to break up the intensity of the play. The play also went on to become a lot more intense, just without the comic relief.

September 11 was a very mournful day and that carried over to a very mournful many weeks. This excerpt was the author’s interpretation on something that might make people cheer up, even if just for a little bit. Who mean who doesn’t love babies’ right?  Babies in times of mourning are kind of like soul food when you are away from home. I really like this reference as a way to grieve but also as brief instance of comic relief.

 I am an avid supporter of comic relief in times of intense action. I don’t know bout anyone else but in hard times or intense moments, I tend to squirm around. I don’t really like them at all; I don’t deal with them very well either. This is the sole reason why I really like this piece of text.

This is a portion of my blog that I don’t really know how much I will really try and incorporate into my writing. I am not really a funny guy, but I try to be, I don’t know how it will come off to other people. I do really like I though when it happens in other peoples work. When I do eventually have to write something serious I will however attempt to use this tactic to ease the tension of the moment.

 

“This week sales potatoes and butter went up”

(I think it is probably best if I stay away from humor)

 

Grant McCloskey Week #2

Caleb Weber

Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve.
Dr. Napoleon Hill

This sentence has great flow and rhythm. The ryming of the words conceive, believe, and achieve make these words stick out. What Dr.Hill is saying is that you cna do anything you put your mind to. There are no restrictions in life, except for the ones you give your self.


If you can think it, you can do it.

commonplace blog 2

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.”
Today for the commonplace blog, I selected a document that we may be aware of, but do not truly understand. The Declaration of Independence was one of the most influential writings in the history of our country. It was a letter to the King of England, but more importantly served as a form of persuasion to all of the colonists. It convinced thousands of people to overthrow the status quo, and start a new philosophy of government. We all are familiar with many of the authors near the time of the American Revolution: Thomas Paine, Benjamin Franklin, and Thomas Jefferson. Few people know what the tools that made them so affective were. Looking at the first two sentences of the Declaration of Independence, the first thing that comes to my eye is the odd unorthodox punctuation. Words such as Rights, Life, Liberty, People, Government, and Safety are all capitalized. Jefferson, was not worried with grammatical perfection, rather, he wanted to emphasize the words that the colonists were fighting for. Also, Jefferson uses broad adjectives such as Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness that could inspire anyone to fight on their side. Many people who fought in the Revolutionary War were not greatly affected by the change in Government. They did not suddenly come out of poverty, or to be able to have people volunteer to give their life for a cause when it will not affect them greatly is a powerful thing. This sentence structure is hard to imitate because it lends itself no matter what to be a run on. Here is an example of the sentence structure in a “modern day” Declaration of Independence.

We as citizens of the world agree, that we are sick of over pollution, that we are tired of genocide, that we are untitled to answers, and that we need a change.

BLog week 2 1 Corinthians

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize?  Run in such a way as to get the prize."

1 Corinthians 9:24

After reading this verse from 1 Cor. 9 I knew right away what I was going to talk about.  I was walking out of the locker room and it was hanging on the wall for everyone to see.  Paul is the author of this book, and he was relating the verse as to runners in the Greek games as too how people should live their lives.

The first half of the first sentence "Do you know that in a race all the runners run"  is a rhetorical question and makes the reader think.  Everybody knows that all the runners run in a race, but most do not think about how they run.  Running can mean many different meanings.  To some it is a nice content pace or to others it is a full out sprint to be the best.  He then follows up with the next sentence as to how everyone should run the race, "Run in such a way as to get the prize."  Here Paul  is telling people the only way to run: their hardest so they can get the prize.  When Paul is saying this, he is using this statement as a metaphor to being a Christian, the only way to be a Christian is to live your life to the fullest for God.  I use this quote not only for my Christian life, but for life in general.  Anything I do in my life I try to complete it to my fullest ability; whether it being washing dishes, wrestling, homework, or even walking my dog.  No matter what I do I try to do it my best.

"Do you know that in a practice participant practices, but only few get the prize? Practice in such a way as to become better to receive the prize.."

The Dark Knight

"Do you know, why I use a knife? Guns are too quick. You can't savor all the little...emotion. You see, in their last moments, people show ya who they really are. So, in a way, I know your friends better than you ever did. Would you like to know which of them were cowards?"-The Joker

"The Dark Knight"

The structure of this quote from the Joker in the movie The Dark Knight has an interesting structure used in it. The uses of Commas and the long pauses help make the reader of the quote understand how these villain acts by text alone. The way he pauses makes him seem to appear serious and as if he has something very important to say and get across.

After the uses of commas and pauses he quickly asks a cold hearted question without pause or hesitation. This help the reader understand his personality and how this character is erratic and deluded. The pauses and commas in the text play a very important role, I believe, I think that help make him sounds less clear and crazy as if he were muttering the sentence.

"Do you wanna know, why I do the things I do..........Its quite simple really, its because its.......fun. You don't understand me , really, I just love a good smile!"

Blake's blog

“You don’t win once in a while, you don’t do things right once in a while, you do them right all the time.”
- Vince Lombardi in my football book

This is a very powerful statement that Lombardi makes. The statement is only attended to people of a strong nature. Vince was a very great coach that demanded for perfection by his team. He coached by this statement and lived by this phrase everyday of his life. The world would be a lot better place if everybody followed this quote.
The statement is very powerful because it allows no room for error. It says you must do things right all the time. When he says all the time, he means all the time. This means when you feel sick, tired, or just unmotivated. The quote is very difficult to actually follow in real life. Most people can do things right a majority of the time. The difficult part is doing the right thing all the time. There a very few people, if any, that can actually follow the quote in their life.
I personally try to follow this quote in my life. Like most people I can follow the quote most of the time. However, I occasionally slack off a little bit. It’s just too easy to not do the right thing sometimes.

“You don’t try once in a while, you don’t give up once in a while, you never give up.”

Weekly Blog 2_Lunkun Deng

-Will we go back to normal?
-Yes, we'll go back to normal.
But normal will be different.
This is the new normal.

(page34, THE GUYS by ANNE NELSON)

This short "ask and answer" powerfully describes the effect of 911 on people psychologically. Joan uses a simple way to express what ordinary people think of the event and the changes over time. It directly hits the very tenderness in our hearts.

"We’ll go back to normal." The first sentence of the answer presents a positive result. We are faithful that we’ll be fine.
"But normal will be different."The second one gives us a great psychological gap to our expectation from the first one. It impacts a fact that we can never get back where we used to be. We cannot pretend that nothing had happened on that day. What can never be wiped is the shadow of our dearest’s passing away.
"This is the new normal." The last one shows the optimism of the speaker. Every great event has an influence on us. That’s what we cannot deny. The influence may be whether physical or mental, positive or negative, short or eternal. Joan leads us to be optimistic. Everything will be fine. There will be a new world order, balancing the past, the present and the future.


-Can we start all over again?
-Yes, we can love each other once again.
But it’s hard to be a brand new start.
We can try to cherish the present and look forward.

The dishonesty seems hurt both sides. Time goes by. The scar is slowly to heal. They can make a new start. However, like a broken mirror, the crack can always be recognized even if it is perfectly repaired. The unhappiness never meant to fade away.

Weekly Blog 2_Lunkun Deng

Mother Teresa

I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much.
Mother Teresa (@ brainyquote.com)
This quote is powerful because it is funny and unexpected. The quote is something you would think would be serious but it is not and it strikes you as comical from the truth behind the words she uses.
I know cereal will not give me all the nutrition I need. I just wish that it wasn't so tasty.

Ethan Flater

Web Blog 2

“What he craved was possession and the power it gave to him; what he adored was anticipation—the slow acquisition of love, then life, and finally the secrets within.
Eric Larson The Devil in the White City

This excerpt from The Devil in the White City gets its power and effectiveness from the organization and structure of the sentence. As I first read this sentence, I was overwhelmed. Larson jammed so much action, detail, and “secrets” into this one sentence; that I had to go back and reread the sentence, in order to, acquire all the clues Larson was presenting about this mystery man. The way Larson organizes his sentence is where he gains his power. As I was reading, I was swept away in the description hoping to find some logical explanation at the end of the sentence. If the sentence was broken down into several smaller ones, it would become less suspenseful to the reader, as they are ardently trying to discover who this man is and what possession does he “crave”.

Larson’s use of the hyphen is particularly significant to the success of his sentence. The hyphen forces the reader to slow down from the intense description, so that they can understand the true context of “anticipation” in Larson’s story. Larson’s vivid description turns this once expected normal man into a monster with unknown capabilities. This sentence left my mind spinning (in a good way). I became so eager to find out who this man was, what possessions he craved, and, most of all, the “secrets” he held within.


“What he craved was love and the passions it gave to him; what he adored was a long lasting relationship—one of undoubted trust, fond memories, and finally unity.”
Nick Curosh

week #2

"With great power comes great responsibility"- Uncle Ben in Spider-man

When Uncle Ben says this line he's not just talking about his powers he's gained, he's talking about life in general. With every kind of power there is always alot of responsibility. This should be taken into consideration by not just people with a lot of power, but people who even have a small bit of power. It's very influential to me because I know that no matter what I do i'm responsible for something or someone.


With great _____ comes great ______.

The truth of the matter

I am sorry Chris is late this mourning. I could make something up about an appointment or a sickness, but the fact is that we woke up late. Go figure
Best,
Brother of Toph.

This is an excerpt from the memoir of Dave Eggers titled A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius. His little brother, Toph, is his responsibility after his parents die at a young age. So when he is late to take his brother to school he comes out about it in an honest way, the way that it should be. The best part is that he admits he is very capably of lying to prevent any trouble but decides not too. Then his "go figure" at the end really brings into this his attempt at making this into a light matter of little consequence. That's awesome.

Were I in a similair situation I suppose the letter for my little brother would more or less read like so

"It's his fault. There is nothing more to it; punish the little guy. I'm kidding, don't do that. But it is his fault."

1984

"Sanity is not statistical."
-George Orwell 1984

This very short sentence from 1984 is very powerful to me. The repeating "s" sound adds a certain something to it. Within the novel, the technological aspect of spying on the party members controls them by just using psychological tactics, is very disturbing.I believe it to be good because the truth behind the statement. One can not measure how "normal" someone is.


my variation:
smile are not statistical.

Think before you speak

"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious." - Alan Minter, Boxer


This is why we all need to sit back and really think about what we are about to say and maybe choose to rephrase it a little. This lesson is even more important to learn before you speak to the media.

Storm's Blog

"It's so much easier to pray for a bore than to go and see one."

C. S. Lewis
Taken From http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/c/cslewis115362.html

This is a quote that I found while looking at brainyquote.com it just stuck out to me as something that most people might look over because it is just saying that it is easy to ask for something then go out and do it. I think it is more than that, I think that to fully understand what is going on in this short simple quote you have to have actually wanted something and asked for it and then when it never came you went out and got it. This way you actually know how hard it was to get it and can understand what it means. But on the other hand you could look at it like C. S. Lewis is saying that people are lazy and won’t go out and try to do things for themselves just wait and pray for some force to bring it to them. I see this simple quote being more than what it seems as most of C. S. Lewis's material usually is.

"It's so much easier to sit and watch than to go out and actually become part of life."

golb tsrif

"I lead the grey to the gate of the kraal. But there is no feeling in me. It is as if something has died inside me the moment the fury left him."
- Andre Brink A Chain of Voices

This passage has much meaning in it. The horse was a wild beast, but ten minutes later Galant broke it in so it lost all of his fury. He feels bad for the horse since he wants it to run away from the white people and live out where it belongs, the wild. Since he wants the horse should run, he feels nothing because he didn't want the horse to be tamed. This relates to most animals in the world. For instance, dogs, mans' best friend, are not all tamed, but they learn from their masters to behave and therefore are tamed.

I brought the wolf pup home with me. I was all cold inside after killing its mother. I will have to tame him not to be vicious as his mother.

Blake blog

“Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take; but by the number of times that your breath is taken away.”
At my girlfriends house on the wall.
This is a very great quote that I love to read every time that I go to my girlfriend’s house. I think that this quote is very true and that everybody should think about how true it is. This describes all of the times in life that you remember the most. It can also describe the moments that you meet new people.
I think that in life there are a bunch of times when people have fun, but there are only a couple of times when people get their breath taken away. These times are very important times in a person’s life. When I think about someone getting their breath taken away I think about someone falling in love for the first time. I also think about when someone gets engaged or when someone has a baby. I have not personally experienced any of these situations but when I do I think my breath will be taken away.
In my life personally I have had my breath taken away only a few times. I remember these times very well and there is no way that I would ever trade that time of my life away for anything. The first time it happened was when I was in seventh grade. I fell in love with this girl or thought I was in love with her. I am not in love with her anymore, but I still would not take that moment back for anything.
Even though almost all of the time when a person gets their breath taken away is a happy moment, sometimes the moment is not always good. When a person loses someone that is very close to them I think it will take their breath away. I consider myself very lucky right now because this moment has not happened in my life yet. On the other hand I know one day something bad will happen, so I know I will experience it someday.

“Life is not measured by the number of people you meet; but by the number of people you remember.”

A jogger darts by. Green willow fragrance follows, trying to keep up. 

This is a poem that was written by trial Lawyer Karen Kimball. To me I find this particular poem moving because it is really short and simple, it is something that I can relate to, and it paints a really cool nature picture in my mind. I normally don’t like poetry, but when I can understand it, I look at it in a different light.

Karen Kimball is a trial lawyer for starters, so I don’t think that she is the type of poet that makes things so hard to comprehend and use a different language to convey what she is trying to say. I feel that is a good thing to help the audience understand what the poem is even about. For instance if say Shakespeare had written it, I probably wouldn’t have know that is was about jogging.

Another reason why I like this poem so much is that I really like the outdoors and running. I feel that is also another powerful tool in writing is being able to write about something that people in the audience can relate too. It also helps when you can take the words and then see what the writer is talking about.

When I read this poem I get this vividly clear picture in my head of a jogger running up that last hill before their workout is done, and just busting that last hills ass. All the wile the smell, represented by a variety of colors is right behind him trying to keep up. Its what makes some writing so awesome, you can paint that picture from only twelve words.

When writing is powerful to me, it is really easy to understand, I can somehow relate to it so I want to read or listen, and it puts a picture in your head that every time you read it new details come into that picture. That’s is what makes this poem so cool, Kimball leaves so many details out, but when I read it I fill them in and I have this imagine in my mind full of detail.

Here is my own attempt to match the style of Karen Kimball: the bat strikes the ball. Tiny grains of leather fall off, plummeting back down towards the diamond.

 

Kimball, Karen. Commuter page, November 1, 2007. http://www.commuterpage.com

Battle Cry

some days, some nights
some live, some die
in the way of the samurai
some fight, some bleed
sun up to sun down
the sons of a battle cry

-Shing 02 "Battle Cry"

The sentence structure and use of commas help the piece flow together. This adds a rhythmic beat to the piece making it easier and more enjoyable to read. The use of alliteration also plays a strong role in the piece with the continued use of the S through out the chorus. I think that this is a great piece because it structure and how it leaves its self open for any one's interpretation. It not specific so anyone can come up with there own conclusion about what it means and how they feel about the writing. That's whats gives this piece its power.

Some slow Some fast
some future some past
come back in a blast
some truth some lie
the man of the battle cry

Weekly Post 1_Lunkun Deng

No person deserves your tears, and who deserves them won't make your cry.


The first part is a negative sentence which declares one viewpoint. The second part gives an exception of the situation stated before, and uses another negation to prove the same point.

It seems to be a paradox. Actually by denying each other in the context, the two parts support the same idea thoughtfully and powerfully. A comparison is also suggested in the sentence, which largely enhance the power of the standpoint.


No one request a reward for his love, and who requests it doesn’t take the true love.

Quote by C.S. Lewis

Education without values, as useful as it is, seems rather to make man a more clever devil.
C. S. Lewis (at brainyquote.com)
This quote has power because of its moral tone, and the way it makes you think about what education can do in a person’s life and how it can change it if they are not careful.
Sentence model
Life without purpose as useful as it is, seems rather to make man go crazy with endless amounts of questions.

Ethan Flater

Weekly blog

"Champions are made when no ones looking". - Chase huotari Franklin Central head baseball coach. This quote has been an inspiration to me since the first time I heard my high school baseball coach use it. The words are almost like a smack in the face. And what I mean by that is, that everyone is going to do what their suppose to when their coach or teacher is standing there watching them, its the ones that do what their supposed to do even though their figures of authority aren't their to babysit them. That's what seperates the champions from the amateurs.

_____ are made when ________.

Imagery Blog

“He from forth the closet brought a heap Of candied apple, quince, and plum, and gourd;
With jellies soother than the creamy curd, And lucent syrups, tinct with cinnamon;
Manna and dates, in argosy transferr’d From Fez; and spiced dainties, every one
From silken Samarcand to cedar’d Lebanon.”
John Keats, “The Eve of St. Agnes”
www.john-keats.com/

This excerpt from “The Eve of St. Agnes” by John Keats is an extremely effective piece of literature because its imagery appeals to the numerous senses of the reader. In general, imagery is a type of figurative language which provides an alternative and more successful way to convey your thoughts and feelings on paper. In this excerpt, Keats uses imagery not only to illustrate the great feast but, also, to give each reader a “taste” of the delectable treats.

Keats is able to succeed in his writing through his regular use of strong adjectives. Words such as creamy, lucent, candied, and sliken make these foods appear more desirable than they might be in real life. Normally, these fruits are plain and boring, but the use of descriptive adjectives makes the fruit almost heavenly. These adjectives entice the reader to look, touch, and smell the scrumptious foods. How about taste? Keats purposely leaves the actual eating of these foods out of his poem to let the reader crave his “delicacies”.

Another essential style, in this excerpt, is Keats use of a run-on sentence. He does this purposely in order to combine the powerful adjectives and normal fruit into one large mouth watering heap for the readers. The overall effect and tone of his poem would be much different if the punctuation of the poem were corrected. Readers would, most likely, forget some of the fruit which, in return, would make the poem less pleasurable for their senses. In this excerpt, Keats use of the run-on sentence is a vivid example of his poetic license – or the ability of the poet to do whatever he chooses.

So, in conclusion, it is the imagery and diction that Keats uses that allows the reader to become involved and “hungry” in his poetry.


“The young man walked into the Sparks Center and could instantly smell the sweet aroma of the roast beef and mash potatoes. His attention was then caught by the roar of the popcorn maker, and the whizzing of the ice cream. However, he was soon won over by the bright, glowing colors of the fruit section. “
Nick Curosh

"Trucks"

"You could hear it a mile down the road.  It whipped out around a VW Beetle and just snapped it off the road with the whiplash of the trailer, the way you'd snap a ball of paper off the table with your finger."

I believe the first sentence sets the tone for the rest of the passage; it is short, blunt, and gets down to the point.  I believe writing it this way brings more excitement to the rising action and sets the stage for the climax.  "You could hear it a mile down the road" makes the reader start asking questions.  Hear what a mile down the road?  Why is it so loud?  What is it doing, or what is it going to do?  All of these question came to my mind when reading this excerpt out of the Stephen King novel "Night Shift," and made me want to read more to find out the answer.  If the statement read "You could hear the truck a mile down the road bearing down on a VW Beetle" it would take away all of the anticipation of what would be coming next.  Yes, there still would be some different questions to ask, but the mood and tone of the story would be extremely different.

"The way you'd snap a ball of paper off the table with your finger" brings such a vivid image to my mind I know exactly how the Beetle was hit.  This shows how good writing can bring a short video within the reader, and can make him/her relate it to real life situations.  The sentence made the Beetle be some lifeless object that did not have any power.  There are many different ways this sentence could be observed; a sixth grade bully stealing money from a third grader, the high school jock giving a swirly to the nerd, or even a boss using his/her authority to get something finished.  With all of these real life situation the reader can relate to the story.   They all go back to one main theme: power, dominance, authority, etc, etc.

I believe the author's main goal in these two sentences is to make the reader think and be anxious while reading, wanting to know more.  If an author makes me get butterflies in my stomach then they have done their job.  Whenever I become really into a story I get angry at myself that I can't read fast enough and butterflies appear in my stomach.  I hope this blog will encourage everyone to read "Trucks" taken from "Night Shift" a story written by Stephen King. 

"You could see it coming through the magnificent glowing horizon.  It sped up at a blistering speed dodging in and out.  It positioned its weapon how an Indian would pull his bow, and at the precise time lunged and stung its target with a deadly blow, exactly how the Indian would shoot the prey.

common place blog1

John McCain has a remarkable record of leadership and experience that embodies his unwavering lifetime commitment to service. First elected to the U.S. House of Representatives from Arizona in 1982, John has led the fight for reforming Washington, eliminating wasteful government spending, and strengthening our nation's armed forces.


The paragraph I have chosen comes from the John McCain website. After entering the website, if someone wants to learn more about John McCain, they will click on the about link and this is the first thing they will see. When evaluating the style and grammar, it is important to understand the purpose of the passage. Similar to a lot of political writing (especially party affiliated), the intention is to convince the reader that the politician is the kind of person they would like to see in office. It is imperative to grasp the readers’ attention, and convince them immediately of this idea. It is obvious that this short biography of John McCain is written in a different style than an encyclopedia would have it recorded. In any type of literature written by candidate, a campaign will many times pick to voice on issues that target a large majority of voters. In the first sentence, the campaign writers do a great job of concentrating on certain adjectives that focus to John McCain’s leadership. The first sentence has three phrases/words that emphasize this trait: “remarkable record of leadership”, “experience”, “unwavering lifetime commitment to service”. There is alliteration in “remarkable record”, and “experience that embodies”, that makes the sentence smooth and easy to read. In the first sentence, the campaign has indirectly referenced John McCain’s service to our country. In the second sentence, it refers to his wealth of his experience and leadership again, showing how he has been a politician since 1982. When looking at the grammar of the sentence structure, it is full of adjectives and nouns. There is an opportunity to substitute a subjective pronoun for John McCain. However, the campaign chooses not to, trying to give the reader first name recognition of the canidate. This structure can be adjusted by removing a few phrases and words to totally state negative views on a person or group of people.



Celebrities live out of control lives, expecting that they are to powerful to be reprimanded. This mindset has led to the removal of positive role models for children, eliminating good examples, and strengthening the acceptability of mayhem.


Changing a few words and phrases, this paragraph can turn into a opinionated rant on people that is quite effective.