The truth of the matter

I am sorry Chris is late this mourning. I could make something up about an appointment or a sickness, but the fact is that we woke up late. Go figure
Best,
Brother of Toph.

This is an excerpt from the memoir of Dave Eggers titled A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius. His little brother, Toph, is his responsibility after his parents die at a young age. So when he is late to take his brother to school he comes out about it in an honest way, the way that it should be. The best part is that he admits he is very capably of lying to prevent any trouble but decides not too. Then his "go figure" at the end really brings into this his attempt at making this into a light matter of little consequence. That's awesome.

Were I in a similair situation I suppose the letter for my little brother would more or less read like so

"It's his fault. There is nothing more to it; punish the little guy. I'm kidding, don't do that. But it is his fault."