caleb w

The egalitarian style of writing is far more effective than the traditional style. The egalitarian style of writing allows one more freedom to write as is pleased and not be bound by the shackles of traditionalism. Modern society is undergoing constant change and with it the language must change. The writing styles of a people cannot be left in the dust and become something that holds them back. When I grew up and went to grade school this was how we were taught to write. We made use of journals and notebooks and were told to write freely and openly. Brainstorming played a key role, and was done before every assignment. The traditional way of writing is not as effective as the egalitarian and is losing its place in modern times. While the egalitarian style of writing is more effective, the traditional style of writing is of importance for one to know. David Foster Wallace considers this style of language to be the language of power. It is the language of power, so we must know it. If you wish to get into to college of your choice, or advance yourself in a career, you have to have at minimum a basic knowledge of this style. This style is the norm for jobs, resumes, and college applications. These things are a crucial part of personal advancement in our society, and as long as this is so the Traditional style of writing should be learned by all.
I made this paragraph more clear and really cleaned it up. The flow is much smoother and transitioning I think has improved greatly. I changed a few of the words. The paragraph is more grammatically correct.