“So they utilize terms that will keep them neutral, trying not to offend or make anyone mad. At the same time they are letting the people that are really listening draw their own conclusion about the speech, even though it may be totally different from what they intended. I can understand why they are tempted to do such things though.“- Open Doors Grant McCloskey
In this paragraph there is no clear subject. If you were to put this paragraph on its own, the reader would have no clue what the subject is. I refer to politicians as they in the entire paragraph.
Also the second sentence in the paragraph is long and drawn out. In reading that sentence a reader may be more worried about running out of breath wile reading it, rather than comprehending it. That sentence would be better split into two to add to the over all clarity to this paragraph.
Finally the end of the paragraph seems to me to be vague in the content. I need to explain more at the end not just how I understand and leave it at that, I need to explain why I understand. The reader doesn’t know what I am thinking wile writing; I need to be more thorough in my explanations.
“So politicians utilize terms that will keep them neutral, trying not to offend or make anyone mad. At the same time politicians are letting the people that are really listening draw their own conclusion about the speech. Even though it may be totally different from what they intended. I can see why speakers will do this to get what they want.“- Open Doors Grant McCloskey Re-Do
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