Weekly Blog Ethan Flater

A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes. Mark Twain (http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/m/mark_twain.html)
This is a powerful quote because it starts off with a simple subject “lie” and this subject is not a flesh and blood subject making it a nominalization, this is powerful because even though the quote is not sticking with the rules of clarity it works and seems to flow very easily proving its point in the sentence.
A trip can last a long time but you are somehow still trapped in the same old routine.
Ethan Flater

Weekly Blog- Jake Moore

If it is agreed that this lexical disparity reflects a social inequity in the position of women, one may ask how to remedy it.  Obviously, no one could seriously recommend legislating against the use of the terms "mauve" and "lavender" by women, or forcing men to learn to use them.  All we can do is give women the opportunity to participate in the real decisions of life.

-Robin Tolmach Lakoff Edited by Mary Bucholtz

The paragraph I took from Mary Bucholtz revised version of the book "Language and Woman's Place" is a prime example of an author using pretentious diction.  Lexical, disparity, social inequity, and remedy are all examples of large words that I believe are unnecessary.  If it was not the help of Microsoft's synonym tool it would have been difficult for me to translate the first sentence.  It is very well structured and stated, but for an average citizen, I believe, it was too well-written and confusing to read.  If I were to write it in "5 cent" words this is how it would read: "  If it is agreed that this inequality use of words is for women, then one may ask how to change it."  

The rest of the paragraph Buchlotz tones down the use of pretentious diction, but still uses words that shows she has a large vocabulary.  The words alone does not make me think she has a large vocabulary, but how she structures her sentence gives me this assumption.  If she were to read this blog entry over her paper she might think that my assumption is based on her gender.  Her paper is over how women and men are portrayed by the world.  Women are forced to talk like a lady and if they don't then they are criticized as unfeminine, but if they do then she is ridiculed as unable to think clearly or make a serious decision.  According to her paper I believe if if a man were to write this paper he would be considered a nerd or very intellectual.  However, because a woman wrote this she is trying to show-off how intelligent she is and show her dominance in the English world.

Tyler Presley

In the beginning of Rich's "Burning of paper" poem, two kids burn a math book at the end of their school year. One of the themes of this poem is the actual burning of the book. To some people, when you burn a book it makes them think of Hitler during WWII when he burned thousands of books. To others it may just seem like two kids having fun. Another theme is that of poverty. Rich talks a lot about poverty when she talks about laying in the street, and typing on a typewriter.

Summary of themes

The Burning of Paper instead of Children by Adrien Rich is about 2 boys that decided to burn their book at the end of a school year; this lead to one parent becoming very upset and telling the others parent. As one parent reflected on the days events she recounted issues in life pertaining to literature.
One of these themes is that we cannot dwell on the past. We can know everything that is going to happen because it has all been experienced and written out; but though we already can know what may come...we do it anyway. "There are books to describe all this and they are useless" (Rich2) It's an issue that people have, they try to learn everything of the past by reading others thoughts rather than simply experiencing it themselves.
Something else that seems very vivid in the poem is a general feeling of suffering. Rich's reference to Melancholia I does a wonderful job of providing a quick picture of this. Literature can be consuming, we can become lost in the text of others. In the picture the woman is so obsessed in her work that she doesn't notice the infant's demeanor or her dog's (I thought it was an ugly a** sheep at first) terrible health. Learning is great and all, but there are much more important things in this world such as family and their well being.

Weekly Blog_12_Lunkun Deng

In my opinion, Adrienne Rich in this poem reminds the old days and expresses some pressure from tough life, especially poverty. Adrienne Rich repeats some words several times, such as “hurt to burn”, “poverty” and “be in danger”. Besides these repeated words, the title, the Burning of Paper Instead of Children, also indicates the theme of the poem. Children do not know much of the toughness in life. They are living an easy life. However, those elder people, as papers and books in the poem, are all tired from the stressful life. When those elder people come across some events, that someone “lights the fire”, they are easy to be in danger: they hurt to burn.

In life people will stand much pressure, pressure that come from study, work, as well as poverty as Adrienne Rich mentions. All the pressure, in one hand, drives people to work hard and then awards them with satisfaction. On the other hand, over-pressure may lead to unhealthy psychological conditions. Facing over-pressure, some people may get well adjusted by some ways of FAXIE. However, if they do not adjust properly, they may go to hell, like the burning books and papers.

Brandewie's Blog

Adrienne Rich’s poem “The Burning of Paper Instead of Children” is an abstract look of literature in actual circumstances. The poem takes a look at Literature in somewhat of a negative light. So many times in today’s literature is glorified, “The Burning of Paper Instead of Children” takes a different view on literature. The Rich has the opinion that literature is useless because it does not solve anything. In the poem she says, “What happens between us, has happened for centuries, we know it from literature, still it happens.” (Rich 3) This leads to one of the major themes of the poem, action over theory. To talk or write about tragedies or good things in the world does not impact the world at all. Rich shows the crime of language. It does not liberate people, rather oppresses action in the world. Another theme in the poem is peace and serenity. Rich looks back at a time before language and literature. She explains it as a “time of silence of few words, a time of chemistry and music” (Rich 1). Appeals to the reader by using the ideas of peace, music, and chemistry to show the positives of the world before language entered. It is an interesting view because many times the conflicts that engross many peoples’ lives are over such trivial problems. Rich does not agree with many of the thought and conflict that is brought up in literature.

caleb weber

I didn't really understand any of this poem. I guess one theme is that the burning of books infuriates some while it causes no anxiety for others. Another theme is that literature can describe alot of things. One theme was that even though we read about bad things, that doesn't mean we will do anything about it.

Summary of "The Burning of Paper Instead of Children"----Jake Moore

In Adrienne Rich's poem “The Burning of Paper Instead of Children” she concentrates on the present tense.  A theme that is revealed is people spend to much time on the past and future.  An example of this theme is Durer's work MELANCOLIA.  He draws a lady who is extremely wrapped up in studying and is oblivious to her surroundings.  She does not realize her little baby is beginning to be wrapped up with books, and how her dog is becoming extremely thin and has a look of sadness on its face.  Rich is trying to state that literature will always tell the past and try to predict the future; therefore, we should not become obsessed with studying, but live a life in the present.  We, the readers, should live a life of how we want to live not how people lived in the past.  With the new and advanced technology in today's society anybody can look up any type of material and find instant answers on that certain subject, but nobody knows what will happen exactly as Rich writes in her poem "no one knows what may happen though the books tell everything."  Because nobody will ever know what will happen we should "burn the texts" a French actor, Artaud, suggests.  This is not stated literally but is said with a sarcastic tone once again telling people to live in the present. 

Blake's Blog

There seems to be a theme of anger in the poem. Rich’s neighbor seems to be very upset over the burning of a book that his son and Rich’s son burnt in the back yard. He relates to this act as an act that Hitler would do. Rich on the other hand does not really think that it is that big of a deal. I believe that the two disagree because of the different backgrounds where they came from. The neighbor gets so upset because he has learned a lot of information in his life through books. On the other hand Rich believes that there is a lot in life to be learned outside of books. This is why it is not that important to Rich that the book was burned. The two different outlooks causes a conflict between the two parents.

Blake

There seems to be a theme of anger in the poem. Rich’s neighbor seems to be very upset over the burning of a book that his son and Rich’s son burnt in the back yard. He relates to this act as an act that Hitler would do. Rich on the other hand does not really think that it is that big of a deal. I believe that the two disagree because of the different backgrounds where they came from. The neighbor gets so upset because he has learned a lot of information in his life through books. On the other hand Rich believes that there is a lot in life to be learned outside of books. This is why it is not that important to Rich that the book was burned. The two different outlooks causes a conflict between the two parents.

Burning of paper

Adrienne Rich’s poem The Burning of Paper Instead of Children goes over the situation where the next door neighbor’s son burns a math book after school and how the son was punished harshly for doing so. The neighbor criticizes his son as being just as bad as Hitler for doing so well Rich takes a different perspective. The main theme that appears in the poem for me is the idea of living life without knowledge of books. Rich first brings in the MELANCOLIA to support the theme. The MELANCOLIA is interpreted as someone who spends all his time working and reading that he loses himself in endless work and loses out on life. Someone who spends his whole life by the book will learn nothing if they never experience anything first hand. She explains that famous writers like Frederick Douglas wrote “purer” than Milton, who had study his whole life, because he wrote from experience and life. What I get from this poem is that life can’t be mapped out for you by a book and that trying to live by a book is foolish.

Grant McCloskey Week #11

In the piece The Burning of Paper Instead of Children there were two children that were “burned” or scorned by a parent for burning a math textbook. The irate parent sentenced the children to a week apart from another. The parent of the child who was “burned” by an adult other than his parent is the narrator of this piece.

The narrator didn't see the big deal with burning the book, hence the title. It was looked at as an act of rebellion against school, almost saying “finally no school for three months”. The narrator took it as harmless child’s play, while the other parent saw it as an act of Hitler.

In the narrators pondering of the day’s events at a typewriter that evening she present many different themes that literature presents. I am not sure if I am in the ballpark with my perceived themes in the piece.

The first theme is obsession. The narrator described characters from books, but in particular the Trial of Jeanne d’Arc. How one dreamed of her too often so the book was taken away, obsession.

Next is the theme: culture of the past, and what to take away from them. I feel that the narrator was speaking of medieval times. It is hard to understand this period however because it was a time with little record, and what one does know is the voice of the oppressed.

Another theme pick up in the text is how one can learn from literature. Then the narrators’ counter argument to that was but what one learns isn’t necessarily directed towards us how to live.  We need to make our own mark on the world and not live vicariously through history, as impossible as that may be.

The narrator makes the claim that America lives only in the present tense. Meaning that we only care about the present, the past has zero significance. Which takes claim the why there wasn’t a numbing feeling as the book was being charred by the fire.

This is a problem however, the narrator said the “flames hurt”. This will hurt our culture not looking at literature of the past as a way to live by. But is this something that we as a culture can overcome? 

Poem Themes Ethan Flater

The poem “The Burning of Paper Instead of Children” by Adrienne Rich has many different themes that could be thought of while reading this poem. I find that one of these themes is the sense of knowledge and how it can be something that is cherished and something we can learn from. The part where the poem talks about the burning of books and how knowledge is being tossed away and forgotten and how that is a tragedy for society, but then it seems to turn it around and make knowledge something that can take over someone’s life. John Milton who wrote Paradise Lost spent many years studying before he wrote this book and in the end Fredrick Douglas writes a purer form of writing than he did. The two are contrastable people when you try to explain how a man with little education be able to do the same as a man who spent so much of his life in study. It seems like Milton was over taken by his studies and he tried to make everything perfect making the knowledge he sought after something that took over his life and in the end made it empty. This shows a contrast of how knowledge is good in some ways and when it can be taken too fare and lead to madness.

Ethan Flater

Nick's response to Burning...

“The Burning of Paper Instead of Children” by Adrienne Rich is a poem that compares the influence of literature to real life situations. One of the main themes in the poem is to live your life in the present and concentrate only on those things that you have control of. Literature does reveal what has happened and what will most likely happen, yet we should not feel constrained to the “knowledge of the oppressor (author)”. We should live life as we choose and to the best of our abilities and not follow the reoccurring actions of the past. Books may have an answer to all of our questions and problems, but we should not live our lives according to their answers. The oppressor gains total control of our lives when we become controlled by the knowledge of the past, similar to the woman in the “Melancolia” painting. She becomes obsessed with studying and understanding books and is unable to experience life and make decisions for herself.
Another theme in the poem is the present suffering of many individuals. Children are unfed, unclothed, and rely on stealing for survival. We have seen numerous examples of this suffering in books but have done nothing to help those people suffering. “There are methods but we do not use them.” For some reason, we tend to act no different than those did in books even though we know the outcomes (mostly negative). The burning of books might not upset the author of this poem because it would force people to make decisions for themselves and to take part in new positive ends. It is those people who are controlled by the oppressor that cause this suffering because they are unable to “tell the truth” and “touch you now” to help bring about positive change. Nick Curosh

Grant McCloskey Week #10

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life Liberty, and the Pursuit of happiness.”-Thomas Jefferson

Thomas Jefferson wrote this as part of the Declaration on Independence in1776. The document has some parts that would be considered “politically correct” present day, but it also has some items that would need to be changed if it were to be written today.

For instance “endowed by their Creator” would work today because it is not specifically addressing one religion. Creator is a general term almost to mean “Who you feel put you here”. In capitalizing “Creator” makes it a person, or thing of importance, I feel leaving it un-capitalized would take away from its power.

Something that would need to be changed would be “that all men”, that is not giving equal representation among sexes. It should be made into “that all human beings”.

Something aside from the tone is how the sentence flows. It makes a statement and then is lists what the statement called for. It is a really good way to keep the attention of the reader to keep it all together. It makes is flow well.

I also feel that this is a specific example of a sentence that is low and breaks the rules previously discussed in Style, but still works. This sentence would not be as powerful as it is if it were to be split up.

That is the one thing that I will take away from this blog is that sometimes you paper needs some of those sentences spread throughout your paper. It will be somewhat difficult for me when to use that style and when not to. If I am able to master this I feel that it will only help me in writing college style papers. 

"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."
...Mark Twain

Mark Twain always proves that he is in fact the man. The quotes he makes famous always hit home with me. This line can relate to our life in many situations; most recently in events here on campus or Saturday after the buzzer sounded. There is a lot of power behind this line and that's awesome. As for his diction; the sentence is easy to understand so that's cool. By putting commas around 'too' it gives the feeling of an emphasis to the reader. The reader can feel that the sentence really does apply to their life and they can take it to heart. This quote stays with me, but I remember the gist in my own words with it.

"Stay away from the people that want to pull you down. Some people are like that, but we can be more than them. We can surpass what they have become and what they would have us become.

Blake Litmer

"Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake."
- Chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower (1887-1956)


This is a short, but to the point quote. The first word victory is talking about victory in anything a person participates in. Most people might think this quote is referring to a game. However, I believe the author is referring to any life situation. In this quote the player is the person that is in the completion of an everyday life situation. It could also refer to a player the game. The end of the quote is very true with any competition a person is put in with another person. There are many successful people in this world that commit a lot of mistakes. The point to the quote is it does not matter if a person commits a mistake. The part that matters is after a mistake is committed the person must fix his mistakes and not let them happen again. I believe that in life people need to forget about the mistakes they commit and worry about what is happening in their life in the present. My belief follows this quote.

Greatness goes to the player who forgets about past situations.

Brandewie's Weekly Blog

Once you have traveled, the voyage never ends, but is played out over and over again in the quietest chambers, that the mind can never break off from the journey.
Pat Conroy, The Prince of Tides
Pat Conroy is one of my favorite authors. He has the ability to blur the line between conventional prose and beautiful poetry. This quote is elegantly written through the use of strong clauses and exceptional adjectives. It is an extremely long sentence; however, it still flows very well, and as in a quality of many run-ons does not seem too long. The first to phrases, “Once you have traveled” and “the voyage never ends” sets the reader up with two odd phrases. There is also a repetition in over and over that flows very well in the sentence. In the final phrase the sentence refers back to the journey that can not be broken off from. Here I will try to replicate the sentence with a similar sentence structure.
Once you start something in life, no matter how tough it gets, it is important to finish, that you can bring a strength in character.

Jumanji

"A hunter from the darkest wild... makes you feel just like a child" - Alan Parrish Jumanji 1995

This quote is very interesting to me through the way it is written. It contains a great rhyme scheme as that syllable count and last to words rhyme makes it easy to read and more memorable. I think that what is most interesting about the quote is that it doesn't give to much away. Although it gets its point across its still leave a lot of mystery and isn't too descriptive. I also noticed that the use the multiple periods in the quote to build up dramatic appeal. And the way the use "you" directs it at a person and bring about a greater sense of danger.

"Better run better flee... or he will eat you from the knee"

Weekly Blog_10_Lunkun Deng

Love is patient, Love is kind,It does not envy, It does not boast,It is not proud, It is not rude,It is not self-seeking,It is not easily angered,It keeps no record of wrongs.
Corinthians 13 : 4

My host family told me yesterday that this chapter is translated from Greek. Even if I cannot read the original Greek version she showed me, I think this is a perfect translation. In this Love Chapter, all the sentences share one subject, love. This makes the whole paragraph be united. Then every two sentences come as a pair, such as “Love is patient, Love is kind.” They share the same sentence pattern. Moreover, each pair is either positive or negative. For instance, the second pair starts with “It does not” and the third pair starts with “It is not”. In additional, the two sentences in a pair express similar or close-related view points. For example, patience and kindness are both considered to be characteristics of a nice person. Even if all the sentences in the Love Chapter are short ones, they flow so well from one to another in ways of both structure and meaning. Furthermore, all those short sentences balance the entire paragraph and express a powerful thought as a whole. The chapter only uses some ordinary feelings yet successfully describes an invisible object, LOVE.

Mother is an instructor, Mother is a companion.
She is always missing me, She is always concerning about me,
She is always criticizing, She is always encouraging,
She does not want to hate,
She does not want to blame,
She devotes all her love to me.

Weekly Blog Ethan Flater

"All I am, or can be, I owe to my angel mother."
Abraham Lincoln http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/a/abraham_lincoln.html

This quote is powerful because it combines the present with the future. It stops abruptly to make you soak in the first statement and then it goes again only to stop with another statement. This really makes you soak in both of the comments until you reach the end pulling the entire quote together.

All that is, or all that could be, is caused by God almighty.

Jake's Blog- The Ruins

The screaming filled Eric with a sense of panic.  Pablo was down in the hole, in the darkness, in terrible pain, and Eric couldn't think what to do, where to turn, how to make it better.  They needed to help him, and it was taking too long.  It ought to be happening now, instantly, but it wasn't; it couldn't.  -Scott Smith, The Ruins

This section of reading from Scott Smith's novel, The Ruins, matches what we talked about in class on Friday.  The first sentence is short and very catchy.  It is the first part of a "break" in the book and it receives the reader's attention immediately.  After the person reads this, I believe, they will begin to read rapidly and Scott Smith helps them do this throughout the rest of the paragraph.  The next sentence is filled with short prepositional phrases in which Smith helped the reader continue to read at a fast pace.  After the phrase "in terrible pain" instead of putting a period there and making a new sentence, Smith, combined the two sentences together with a "comma conjunction."  In doing so, it extended the sentence, but also didn't let the reader take the necessary pause after the period.  Instead, he/she took the shorter pause needed for a comma and continued reading.  The last sentence "It ought to be happening now, instantly, but it wasn't; it couldn't" is perfect for what we discussed in class about apostrophes.  If Smith made "wasn't" and "couldn't" in two words it would have slowed the pace down.  Instead he needed to keep the fast pace and used the contractions so shorten the sentence. 

Nick's blog

“Fierce as a dog with tongue lapping for action, cunning as a savage pitted against the wilderness.” Carl Sandburg “Chicago” (Chicago Poems)

As I was reading Sandburg’s poem, this sentence caught my attention. Each clause begins with a very powerful adjective (fierce and cunning) that tend to change the tone of the poem. The words fierce and cunning suggest a more hostile environment in which only the strong can survive. Also, the two verbs, found in this phrase, (lapping and pitted) are not your everyday words and serve as an exaggeration for the comparison of the city of Chicago to the dog and the savage. The word lapping creates the effect that the dog is drooling in anxiety waiting to strike at any moment. And, the word pitted seems produces an unfavorable environment even for the cunning savage.

The reason Sandburg includes this phrase is to connect these two uncommon things to Chicago. The dog and savage serve as a metaphor to help illustrate the persona of the city. Sandburg believes that the people of Chicago are as fierce as the dog and as cunning as the savage. These two comparisons portray the wild, untamed side of the jungle (Chicago).

“Strong as a boxer with fists throbbing for battle, trusting as a friend struggling against unfavorable odds” Nick Curosh

Survival

Survival in todays world requires strength, determination, and intelligence to be able to fend off any attacks that people of this world might throw your way, because the world rewards the strong and independent.

robbie's survival statement

Survival in music requires confidence and lung capacity to overcome the hurdle of stage fright but rewards the player with a sense of accomplishment and desire for the next performance.

tonys blog

Survival on the wrestling mat demands will power and confidence of being able to outwork your opponent but the rewards of becoming the victor are pride in ones' self and being able to push yourself to the limit.

caleb weber

Survival in life requires love, love is as essential to living as water, without love we are lost.

Survival?

Surviving on the field requires more than talent; drive, determination, courage and trust of others are the true factors in a persons' survival. Possess those and you cannot lose.

weekly blog Ethan Flater

Survival on the wresting team requires a strong will and work ethic to overcome the brutal facts of dehydration and hunger but rewards the person who has the will to move on with the thrill of victory and the ability of winning again.

luke

Survival on the stage requires the ability to rock hard and perform well for the crowd; but once completed your ability and performance makes it easier in the future.

Blake Litmer

Survival on the football field requires a person to have unconditional love and respect for his team mates and if all players live by this there will be no question in the end who the winner is.

tyler presley

Survival in the octagon requires the skills and knowledge of mixed martial arts to be able to out smart and out perform ur opponent and if a fighter can do this everytime they step into the cage they will never be defeated.

Clarity and Grace Blog: Jake Moore

Survival in the wilderness requires the energy and wit to overcome the brute facts of an uncooperative Nature but rewards the person who acquires that power with the satisfaction of having done it once and with the confidence of being able to do it again.

Playing in a collegiate sport offers the need of competition and work ethic to receive the adrenaline of a match or game and achieve a high from winning knowing how much time and effort was put into practice and the off season.  

Brandewie's Blog

Survival in the extreme cold requires the perseverance and determination to not except defeat in the eyes of death, but after the incident can often provide an individual with the confidence that he or she will survive through anything.

Grant McCloskey Week #9

Success on the baseball diamond requires patience and tenacity to accomplish the task of putting the ball in play and for the person who is able to complete the task meanly once will undoubtedly be able to do it again.- Grant McCloskey

Weekly Blog 11_Lunkun Deng

Study abroad alone requires perseverance and adaptive capacity to live through the everywhere toughness in an unknown environment but rewards the student who acquires that qualification with achievability of managing it presently and the fearlessness of the difficulties in the future.

Nick's sentence

Success on the basketball court requires the hard work and dedication of a team to overcome the pressing and fouling of their opponent but rewards the team who acquires the right mentality with the satisfaction of winning the game and the confidence to beat any other opponent.
Nick Curosh

George Orwell’s thoughts on the use of the English language in politics can still be applied to today’s world. Today’s leaders think of themselves in a position of power over every citizen that they do not wish to relinquish to anyone that may have differing views from themselves. These politicians try to use a language that utilizes words that have a hidden meaning or meanings that are open can manipulated. The main reason that the citizen cannot fully understand the language used against them is that they have been trained by authority to understand less. Instead, citizens are not able to accurately gauge politicians and base their election choices on overused and meaningless words in the politician’s hollow language.

For this paragraph, I left the first and last sentences the same and only changed the two that are in the middle. The two in the middle contained words that were useless. I removed the useless words and rewrote them to be better understood by the reader.

Brandewie's Paragraph Revision

In today’s political climate repetitive language is reiterated to excess. Politicians, especially the candidates in this upcoming election, like to simplify the issues with repetitive language. Barack Obama and John McCain continue to harp on the message “Change” in his 2008 campaign. However, in many of these speeches they both fail to mention what facets of government he plans on changing and how they will change them. Both candidates, as in every recent election, have harped on “reforming” separate branches of the government. However, both candidates are rarely specific on what exactly they will reform. On John McCain’s website, a table shows his policy on all the issues including healthcare. All of the issues are stated in broad terms, and say nothing about how he will implement policies. To illustrate, he says that he will make health care more available and responsive for patients. This response on his own website to his policy on health care is not something concrete, rather the message that is extremely broad. In the presidential debates, Barack Obama has continuously said the same things about making health care more affordable and accessible without explaining action he will follow eihter. Unclear speech is used by many politicians to gain support from people without the people actually knowing what the politician’s plan is. In the presidential debate, John McCain has been the perpetrator of bad English. McCain was asked the question “where do you stand on the financial recovery plan?” in the first rounds of the presidential debate. Instead of saying if he was in favor of the financial recovery plan, he twisted his language to advocate how proud he was to see that the financial crisis was beginning to end. This kind of unclear, general speech has been the backbone to many horrific oppressive governments. Also, phrases such as “War on Terror” and “Weapons of Mass Destruction” have been used to over generalize many of our problems overseas. These powerful yet empty words incited support for the Iraq war even though in hindsight, they had no application to the war at all. These catch phrases might seem good to simplify the problem for voter, but they fail to explain the politician’s policy to solve the problem. For example, every president since Richard Nixon has mentioned the importance to end our “dependency on foreign oil.” Countless candidates have said they will lower our dependency on foreign oil, while America’s foreign oil consumption has tripled. Talking in general catch phrases wins votes, but does not attack the issues that need to be solved.

caleb w

The egalitarian style of writing is far more effective than the traditional style. The egalitarian style of writing allows one more freedom to write as is pleased and not be bound by the shackles of traditionalism. Modern society is undergoing constant change and with it the language must change. The writing styles of a people cannot be left in the dust and become something that holds them back. When I grew up and went to grade school this was how we were taught to write. We made use of journals and notebooks and were told to write freely and openly. Brainstorming played a key role, and was done before every assignment. The traditional way of writing is not as effective as the egalitarian and is losing its place in modern times. While the egalitarian style of writing is more effective, the traditional style of writing is of importance for one to know. David Foster Wallace considers this style of language to be the language of power. It is the language of power, so we must know it. If you wish to get into to college of your choice, or advance yourself in a career, you have to have at minimum a basic knowledge of this style. This style is the norm for jobs, resumes, and college applications. These things are a crucial part of personal advancement in our society, and as long as this is so the Traditional style of writing should be learned by all.
I made this paragraph more clear and really cleaned it up. The flow is much smoother and transitioning I think has improved greatly. I changed a few of the words. The paragraph is more grammatically correct.

Weekly Blog 8_Lunkun Deng

Just as David Foster Wallace has pointed out, there are usage wars within English, and he illuminates some reasons for the usage wars. Usage wars broke out for factors such as the difference of geographical backgrounds, race, level of education and social status. Similarly, these factors lead to the usage wars between languages, especially between Chinese and English. However, the “Usage Wars” between Chinese and English are slightly different from what David Foster Wallace describes in the “Usage Wars” inside English, which have prescriptivists and descriptivists in it. In the “Usage Wars” between Chinese and English, English is now acting as a prescriptivist in the wars, safeguarding the “Tradition”. Meanwhile, Chinese is on the prescriptive side as well, but challenging the authority of English Usage. I used to learn standard Chinese, following Chinese traditions. Living in China, I spoke Chinese most of the time, both at home and in school. I have been a prescriptivist in Chinese, and I have tried to be a prescriptivist in English. Now the language I am using is transferring from Chinese to English. Even though I have been learning standard English, especially the usage rules of English, I am still greatly struggling with English usage. I conclude my situation into a “Usage War” between Chinese and English, since as a non-native speaker of English, sometimes I make mistakes unconsciously. Why will I come across the conflict between these two languages? Taking David Foster Wallace’s point of view into account, I think my “Usage Wars” break out because of two main reasons. One is the level of education in English I have received. The other one is the “Language Gap” between two languages, Chinese and English, from two different language systems.



I rewrite this paragraph in the following three aspects.

First, I improve the cohesion between sentences. For example, the first several sentences now have a common topic. In the first two sentences I talk about the “Usage Wars” in English. The third sentence makes a smooth transition. Then from the fourth sentence on, I describe the “Usage Wars” between Chinese and English.

Second, I clarify some specific concept in the paragraph. In the second half of the paragraph, I explain what the “Usage Wars” between Chinese and English means to me, a non-native speaker of English.

Third, I make some changes regarding to grammar and English idioms.

All above, I think my new version present my audience more clear and thoughtful ideas.

Jake's Revised Paragraph

Another trick President Bush used in his speech is meaningless words.  Meaningless words are often used as a crutch to make a point; however, sometimes these words are used dishonestly.  Bush always talked about weapons of mass destruction at the beginning of the war, but what exactly are these weapons he talked about?  I, as well as the America, heard politicians talk about these weapons for so long, that now this phrase is meaningless and no longer has an affect on people.  In “Politics and the English Language” Orwell states, “Words of this kind are often used in a consciously dishonest way.  That is, the person who uses them has his own private definition but allows his hearer to think he means something quite different” (162).  The weapons of mass destruction in Iraq were not as bad as President Bush led the American people to believe.  Therefore, the quote by President Bush is an example of a person having his or her own private definition.  Yes, if the weapons were being built then it would be horrible, but looking back we now know that Saddam Hussein was not building any of these weapons.  President Bush not telling Americans everything he knew about the weapons of mass destruction he was caught being deceitful.  This shows that Bush has been dishonest in some ways to make a point.  President Bush used the phrase “weapons of mass destruction” dishonestly to get into the war and now he does not have a way out.

In this paragraph I edited many mistakes.  In the second sentence I used the word "often" twice.  I kept the first often, and changed the second to sometimes.  After the question I asked, the next sentence I used the formula Professor Benedicks suggested: " ____ was so x THAT y."  The next mistake I made was correcting my mistake on how I cited the quote.  The rest of the paragraph I change drastically.  I changed it so much was because one it did not refer to my topic sentence, two some of the sentences were confusing, and three the tenses did not match up.

tyler presley

The final word that is used by presidents and presidential candidates is the word “legal vote” which is relevant to the 2000 election of George Bush and Al Gore. In the 2000 election there was a dispute between the parties on what was to be considered a legal vote. This dispute eventually made it to the Supreme Court. This was a big issue because Al Gore wanted a recount in certain Florida counties. According to the Supreme Court ruling in this case a legal vote is “those in which there is a clear indication as to who the voter is voting for.” In some cases however, there was a clear intent on who the person was voting for but they did not follow the directions on the ballots. So my question is should they be counted if they did not follow the directions of the ballot? Gores word choice for the term legal vote was his own opinion that the ballots in which the directions were not followed should not be counted instead of what the actual ruling of the court was.



This new paragraph is alot easier to understand and is more clear about the subject on which im going to discuss. I decided to use easier words instead of trying to elaborate on a subject using fancy and confusing words. I decided not to base my whole paragraph on the court case that decided the actual meaning for the term and more on what Gore's perspective of the word ment.

Devin Kelley

George Orwell’s ‘Politics and the English Language” is centered on the argument that politicians have twisted modern English to manipulate public feeling. Politicians are using ‘dead metaphors’ (Orwell, 159) that have no real value to them anymore. The use of 'dead metaphors' and typical words does not create a vivid image for the reader; this creates a very vague and very meaningless sentence that does not afford the listener or reader a fair chance to understand. These vague statements bring entire paragraphs to meaningless because of our inability to actually make anything of them; so then people just take it for what the speaker wants them to. Orwell argues that this improper use of language in politics, the dishonest use of language, is leading to our public's’ ‘foolish thoughts’ (Orwell, 157)

This opening paragraph seems to be pretty straightforward. It seems like it is sort vindictive and assumptive; however that is part of the argument strategy Orwell uses. The orignal had a sentence or two that seemed redundant. Another sentence really had no place in the paper. So without those, this seems to be a little better.

Blakes Blog

Usage Wars are very important for people in America to learn. The Usage Wars will have an effect on every person living and working in America. All of the schools will have to teach a different style of writing if the language is changed. Many other things will change in the country. Newspapers will be written in a different writhing style. This means that all writers and editors will have to change. These are just a few examples; however, all writing in the country would change.
This paragraph is much shorter and more to the point. In the first part of each sentence there is a clear subject and strong verb. The sentences run into each other very good. It is really easy to understand the point of each sentence. The topics in the paragraph flow well. The first sentence has the main idea of the whole paragraph. This paragraph is much more organized and has no sentences that are off topic.

Usage Wars are very important for people in America to learn. The Usage Wars will have an effect on every person living and working in America. All of the schools will have to teach a different style of writing if the language is changed. Many other things will change in the country. Newspapers will be written in a different writhing style. This means that all writers and editors will have to change. These are just a few examples; however, all writing in the country would change.

This paragraph is much shorter and more to the point. In the first part of each sentence there is a clear subject and strong verb. The sentences run into each other very good. It is really easy to understand the point of each sentence. The topics in the paragraph flow well. The first sentence has the main idea of the whole paragraph. This paragraph is much more organized and has no sentences that are off topic.

Revised

Americans should care a lot about these usage wars because it affects our everyday life. If the usage wars were to lean towards the prescriptivist side, then we would have more focus on correct grammar spelling and the standard written rules of English would be deemed “The Bible” of the latest generations. In a prescriptivist world, you would be judged more on your ability to use these grammar rules correctly than on your creativity, or even discourse community: “A fellow snoot I know likes to say that listening to most people’s English feels like watching somebody use a Stradivarius to pound nails.” This could make getting a career in which the employer holds these strict prescriptivist values a lot harder. When people place more focus on your standard written English above that of the actual meaning of your text, they could lose the point of the piece altogether.


Americans should care about these usage wars due to its relevance in our everyday life. If the usage wars resulted in a prescriptivist victory, then Americans would focus only on the correctness of their grammar; spelling and the standard written rules of English would be deemed “The Bible” of the latest generations. In a prescriptivist world, each would be judged more on their ability to use these grammar rules correctly than on creativity, or even discourse community: “A fellow snoot I know likes to say that listening to most people’s English feels like watching somebody use a Stradivarius to pound nails.” This quote shows that many prescriptivist feel annoyed when others disuse standard written English Consequently, obtaining a career in which the employer upholds strict prescriptivist values is suddenly more difficult. When people place more focus on standard written English above that of the actual meaning of their text, they lose the point and, more importantly, the depth of the piece altogether.

weekly blog Ethan Flater

People should care about the usage wars, because the only way people can become successful and taken seriously in life is through writing and language. As Wallace puts it we can become successful in the way we present ourselves to other people. Whether this is through writing or through conversation we must be able to do both successfully. People who use the correct grammar are going to be more successful and taken seriously than the people that write in their own dialect, because of this we must write in SWE the writing of power. This allows people to be taken seriously in what they write and present in their work. As people we can be successful on both sides when it comes to different situations. If we need to change our dialect to fit in to a different part of society a descriptivist is going to be more successful than a prescripivist, but if we write a paper or a resume a prescriptivist is going to do much better than a desriptivist. It is in these ways that we should care about the usage wars so we can be successful on both fronts. Only by having knowledge on both sides can we be successful.

This paragraph starts out pretty well because it explains my next point that i am going to make aboutthe usage wars. Some of the corrections I did delt with some unclear wording and i reorganized the sentences to flow better with the ideas i am trying to show.

Grant McCloskey Week #8

“So they utilize terms that will keep them neutral, trying not to offend or make anyone mad. At the same time they are letting the people that are really listening draw their own conclusion about the speech, even though it may be totally different from what they intended.  I can understand why they are tempted to do such things though.“- Open Doors Grant McCloskey

In this paragraph there is no clear subject. If you were to put this paragraph on its own, the reader would have no clue what the subject is. I refer to politicians as they in the entire paragraph. 

Also the second sentence in the paragraph is long and drawn out. In reading that sentence a reader may be more worried about running out of breath wile reading it, rather than comprehending it. That sentence would be better split into two to add to the over all clarity to this paragraph.

Finally the end of the paragraph seems to me to be vague in the content. I need to explain more at the end not just how I understand and leave it at that, I need to explain why I understand. The reader doesn’t know what I am thinking wile writing; I need to be more thorough in my explanations.  

“So politicians utilize terms that will keep them neutral, trying not to offend or make anyone mad. At the same time politicians are letting the people that are really listening draw their own conclusion about the speech. Even though it may be totally different from what they intended.  I can see why speakers will do this to get what they want.“- Open Doors Grant McCloskey Re-Do

Nick's blog

"Because, one slight grammatical error might leave you in the same ignorant class as the founders of the "Suppurate" hotels. (Nick Curosh)

First off, this is a sentence fragment. And, it is funny how I did not catch this mistake when going over my paper. I believe the reason I missed it is because it sort of flowed with my previous sentence. I was concerned with making a point through the use of humor that I forgot the rules of grammar. I think when I was writing these two sentences I wanted to combine the fragment with my previous sentence but decided it would be too long. So, instead I got one coherent sentence and one "semi-useful, somewhat sentence". When reading my paragraph as a whole, I missed the mistake because my original "fragment/sentence" linked the previous sentence very powerfully. But, analyzing it as an individual sentence, I discovered that it was a fragment and considerably weak writing.

"Snoots take "their" English very seriously, and one slight grammatical error might leave you in the same ignorant class as the founders of the "Suppurate" hotels.

Weekly Blog

Who would you vote for Barack Obama or John McCain? Well this is the first presidential election that I will be able to vote in and I believe that even-thought mine is just one vote it does matter. The candidates both have their strong points and their weak points and they should be looked at closely. This is why I do not make my decision easiely or quickly. I have watched many of the debates and listen carefully to both candidates views on important issues. After gathering all of the info I made my decision to vote for Barack Obama. I believe that he is the best choice and will lead our country out of the current situation. He has a better plan on how to boost our economy and he also plans on getting us out of Iraq and other middle eastern countries.
-Storm Anderson

caleb weber

I have not followed the election race closely this year. I do not find either of the candidates very appealing. If I had to choose who I wanted to win I would have to go with John McCain. I have been raised under a republican family, that’s the way I intend to vote.

Weekly Blog 7

After November 7th history will be made. The making of the most historic and closest presidential races of all time is between Barack Obama and John McCain. If Obama wins, he will be the first African American president. If McCain, he will be the oldest person elected into presidency and his Vice President candidate, Sarah Palin, will be the first female elected into leading America. Putting these distractions aside, America needs to focus on the subject matter and their own beliefs. The candidates agree on some issues; on the other hand, their differences are polar opposites. I, as a young generation voter, do not care about the racial and gender differences; however, my beliefs and values will ultimately lead me to my decision. Being raised in a single parent household, support from grandparents, and in the lower middle class I can real with Obama. Growing up he was taught the value of family, hard work, how to give back to the community, and good ethics. Throughout the rest of the paper, I am going to explain why I am voting for Obama. These reasons range from how I connect to him, to his view on taxation, and basic human rights.

-Jake Moore Blog 7 Presidential Pick

At the beginning of my paper the first sentence is catchy. If someone does not know what Nov. 7th stands for then they will want to continue reading to find out what history will be made. In the second sentence I used a tip out of Style and put the important part of the sentence at the end and follow the "known-new" principle. I then flowed the next two sentences with the previous "new topic" by talking about Obama and McCain. Obama and McCain are my "flesh-and-blood" characters throughout most of the paragraph. Throughout the rest of the paragraph I list similarities and differences between the two. At the end of the introduction to I list three reasons in my thesis statement which I will in turn talk about throughout the paper. I believe within the first few sentences of the paragraph I do not explain what the paper will be over. If someone stopped after the third sentences they might think the rest of the paper will be a compare and contrast on the two candidates instead of me telling them my pick for the Presidency.

Everybody has their own reasons for which they vote, for whom they vote. Those reasons vary from political views to character views or whether or not a person even cares about the election. Personally I base my opinion around a candidate’s character. My emphasis on a person’s character is fairly simple to explain. There are two types of people out there: High character and low character. A high character individual is going to try and carry out his ideas and values in an honest way, a way that can be admired and respected. The low character individual is going to carry out certain things in a fair way and certain things in a shady manner. For a person held in high esteem, like the President of the United States of America, that will be the central figure of attention, character is important. You cannot change who a person is, but you can change how their politics are shaped. If you, like a have, factor in the candidates character there is a standout amongst our two party leaders- Barack Hussein Obama. Obama should end up as the winner because of his high character.

Things done well?
-"Know-new" concept is followed. Sentences pick up where the previous one ended allowing for the themes to flow.
-Subjects, verbs, main ideas of sentences are given within the beginning 10 words.
-Paragraph ideas are fairly related as well.
-Paragraph is also to the point as to why Obama will win.

Grant McCloskey Week #7

“Presidential Elections really make you think about what is best for this Country, and this year is no different. The two candidates both present valid points on an array of issues. McCain’s plans appeal to my morals and concerns about the future, but it is Obama that will win the election. He came into the election with a very compelling speech, and is more appealing to young voters.”- Grant McCloskey  

First off, I felt that I had speech that was blunt and to the point. I did not try to use wordy sentences to get my ideas across.  I took the route with the least amount of resistance. This factor alone added to the clarity and grace of my paper.

Another idea I tried to focus on was not being so repetitive and the flow of the paragraph. The paragraph flows into each next idea; I don’t present something at the beginning and not explain it until the end, it flows into each additional point.

It was very difficult to achieve this. It makes you second-guess everything that you write to make sure it goes together with everything else. This issue is something I need to become more aware of in my writing. In almost every paper I have encountered this problem.

This is something that I need to continue to work on to improve my writing. To accomplish this I need to have times were I just go through and cut out unnecessary words or phrases. I just need to take the time and not rush through it. 

Brandewie's opinion on the presidential election and in depth anaylsis of his first paragraph

I like to preface this paper by saying that I think that both presidential candidates are great Americans and great leaders. Both candidates could bring a wealth of skill and different qualities to the table and could both serve as great presidents. This dilemma leaves me a tough decision; two men who I believe are great Americans and could also be great presidents of the United States of America. In both primaries, I favored Obama and McCain versus all of the other potential nominees. So it is important to look at what kind of president America needs right now.
In the first paragraph, I start by saying I admire both candidates are great Americans. I believe by mentioning this, it gives my opinion more validity because it shows I do not a have a personal emotional hatred of either candidate. I further explain how both are highly qualified, show once more that I respect the work of both McCain and Obama. This introductory also makes the reader curious of whom I endorse. In the third sentence, I show that this decision was tough for me, and that I have looked at both candidates objectively. The forth sentence informs the reader that my voting preference, and shows what are some of the reasons for my decision. Finally, I show the ultimate reason of my decision, “What kind of president America needs right now.”

Weekly Blog_7_Lunkun Deng

The presidential election is fast approaching. So the hottest topic now is who will be the new president. I, a foreigner, do not know or care much about the election. However, I think whoever will win the election must have two main qualities. A qualified president must be responsible for his citizens. Furthermore, a president must own strong abilities to build up a harmonious society, with both high economic performance and democratic political environment.


In my writing, I have followed the rules in Style in these ways:

First, the starting sentence of the article points out the topic of the paper, Presidential election. Likewise, the first several words of each sentence include a clear subject and a strong verb. For example, the verb “approach” in the first sentence powerful state what is going on and “the hottest topic” put forward the subject of the second sentence. In addition, the whole paragraph has the common topic of “presidential election.”

Second, this paragraph flows smoothly by following rules such as “Know-New principle” and “Putting complex or new information towards the end of sentences.” For instance, the fourth sentence ends with “new information” of “main qualities”. It suggests what I will pick up in the next sentence. Then my fifth sentence starts with “old information” of “A qualified president”, carrying out what the “qualities” are.

Last, the paragraph follows the rules of “style” in details. I have tried to avoid nominalization and passive voice. Taking the first sentence as an example, I use an active verb “approach”, instead of saying “be held.” Besides, I have deleted some senseless words in the paragraph as well as in the whole article.

To put all in a nutshell, although in my article I still use some nominalization such as “election”, I think I have followed William and made a good work.

1st paragraph

“Change” – the word that every American uses today. Change gas prices, change health care, change our economy, and foremost, change our president. The change that needs to take place this election is huge and many people need this change to pursue their own American dream. In 2008 two men are running to be the next president of the United States, Barack Hussein Obama from Illinois and John Sidney McCain from Arizona. Each man has their own idea on what needs to be done to fix America’s problems. Both candidates desire to change America for the better, but in fundamentally different ways. Even though both are good intentioned men who strive to help America, I believe that only one can bring us the change we need. This man is Barack Hussein Obama.

I really focused on my transitions in my paragraph and introductions of both candidates. What I was looking for was using one word (i.e. Change) to explain my whole paragraph. This way the reader could understand it better by seeing this word and understand the main idea of my paper. I made sure my paper was concise so that it didn't over run and cause confusion.

Blake's Blog

In a little over a week there will be a new President in the White House. Right now there is a close race going on between Barack Obama and John McCain. The President will be a difficult position to take over since the economy is in a bad position. The only way that our country will be able to get out of the economic crisis is if Obama is elected as our next President. Obama has a great plan in mind to change our economy so it will be more affordable for Americans to live.

I believe that all of my sentences have a clear subject and verb within the first words of the sentence. The sentences are short and to the point. There are no extra added words to make the sentence weak. At the end of each of the sentences it is easy to tell what is going to happen next because the sentences lead into each other. In the opening paragraph all of the topics are related to each other so the paragraph will flow smoothly. At the end of my paragraph it would be ok to change the last sentence with the title and it would still make sense.

Robbie's presidential pick.

"There are many reasons to pick either of the two major political party's' candidates. Each one has their own strengths and weaknesses. These are used by the people of the United States of America to decide which they believe will be the better president. Some decide to vote with the party that they were raised to praise, and others will vote based on the important issues that plague them. In a little over a week, I will cast my ballot for the man that I believe will be a better president. That man is the Democratic Party’s nominee, Senator Barack Obama."


I used some advice that I had received at the writing center when I was writing this paper. That was to start my introduction broad and get more specific as it went on. I believe that I have achieved this. I have given my position at the end of this paragraph. This leads to the following paragraphs that explain my position.

tyler presley

In the presidential election of 2008, there is a close run between Barack Obama for the Democrats and John McCain for the Republicans. The reason this election is so close is because of the controversy in the White House now. The American people are wondering about what is going to happen with the War in Iraq, the tax rates now, the policy of American education, and the devastation that has hit the stock market recently and these competitors are taking advantage of these situations to prove they are the one that is going to fix everything.

In this paragraph it gives you examples of what is going to be talked about in my paper. It is clear and gets right to the point with minimal words that could be thrown out. I also don't stray from the point of my paper. In the first couple words of my sentence I give you the subject that my paper is based on. On a different note however, some things that came up that was difficult was whether or not I should write about who I think is going to win and who I want to win. So in the end I just decided to write about both considering they are opposing topics.

Nick's Blog

The 2008 Presidential Election is centered on the American economy. The economy has been hit extremely hard this past year with the failure of many large corporations and the persistent increases in the prices of gasoline and other essential materials. The state of the American economy is beginning to resemble the harsh economic times the nation faced during the 1930’s. With the Stock Market Crash and other financial failures, the nation sought help and change and supported the democratic candidate who promised new, positive economic policies. Franklin Roosevelt compiled the “New Deal” plan that changed the role of government intervention in the economy and helped individuals and corporations regain economic stability. More than 70 years later, the economy is facing similar hardships, and one candidate still believes in the concepts of the “New Deal” to aid the struggling nation. Barack Obama should win the 2008 Presidential Election because his innovative economic policies will help improve the nation.

My paragraph starts with a general, short statement about the election. Through this statement, the readers understand that I believe the economy is the main issue of this election. I then build off the idea of the economy by giving severeal examples of it today and by comparing it to the 1930's. I linked the end of each previous sentence to the following sentence in an effort to connect more complex ideas and to make the main information stand out. For example, showing the connection between the "New Deal" and Obama's economic mentality. I chose to include the information on the "New Deal" and Roosevelt to try to persuade my readers. (Roosevelt's plan worked in the 1930's and Obama's more comlpex, innovative plan will produce similiar benefits in 2008 and beyond.)

tony conway

With the Presidential Election just around the corner, much debate is in the air on who should succeed President Bush. I believe the man to replace him should be Sen. John McCain. His ideas on addressing certain issues are ones with I agree. Some of these issues include the economy, Iraq, and education. His stands on these helped me decide that John McCain should be elected president in the upcoming election.

This paragraph is clear and precise. It states exactly what my paper is going to be about. It flows from one sentence to other clearly, and the sentences are easy to understand. It also follows the known-new flow from sentence to sentence. Following the guidelines in Style, this was easy to write.

Weekly blog election Ethan Flater

The election of 2008 has come down to one thing, and that is the day of the election. There has been a lot of money spent to persuade the people to their side, even though most people made up there minds on whom they were going to vote for from the beginning. I was one of those people; I decided I was going to vote for McCain as soon as he became the nominee for the Republican Party. I am going to vote for McCain in this election because of my own reasons.

This shows clear writing because it flows with my ideas one right after another. The whole paragraph seems to lead you right into what i am trying to say in the rest of the paper, but the clarity of the sentence are what i am not sure of. They sound clear to me but i am never fully sure that they are as clear as possible.

Ethan Flater

caleb weber

The possibility that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause we believe to be just.– Abraham Lincoln
This quote is powerful due to a variety of reasons. The first half of the sentence has a very negative connotation. The words fail and struggle lead us to believe this. As the sentence moves along, its feelings of negativity transition over to a more positive feeling. The phrase “ought not deter us” tells us that we must go on. We can’t give up when the times are bad. Eventually we will prevail. When Mr. Lincoln says “we believe to be just” it is powerful due to the fact that he wants us to stand up and voice our opinion. If we believe in something then go after it and protect it. The word just also makes me think of something good. If someone is referred to as being a just man, it’s a good thing.

Blake's Blog

If everyone demanded peace instead of another television set, then there'd be peace.John Lennon

This is a very true and straight forward quote that Lennon makes. He describes how most people think about themselves instead of everyone around them. He believes that the world would be such a better place if everyone followed this guideline. It seems like a very simple rule to follow, however, it would be nearly impossible for everyone in the world to follow this quote.

Lennon uses a very simple comparison between a television set and peace. I think it is a great comparison that everyone can relate to. This quote especially relates to all of the American’s. Almost every house in America has a television set. Television is a way of life for American’s. Lennon simply states that if peace was a way of life for people in the world then our world would have peace. This is a simple quote that has a great meaning behind it. I like how Lennon relates this to so many people.

If everyone demanded friendship instead of the internet, then there’d be a lot more friends.

tyler presley

"As we gather tonight, hundreds of thousands of American service men and women are deployed across the world in the war on terror. By bringing hope to the oppressed and delivering justice to the violent, they are making America more secure." -George W. Bush's State of the Union Address in 2004.

When I read this exerpt from this speech I see it can be powerful and persuading, but also foolish in word choice. What makes this powerful is the fact that Bush displays acts of courage and grief to the members in the armed forces as well as inncoent lives that have been taking due to numerous terrorists attacks in the Middle East. This is inspirational to Americans that feel vonerable to attack because of what happened on September 11th. The people like to feel safe and secure when they go to work, fly on a plane, ride a bus, and other day to day activities. Bush makes it clear that he is willing to do whatever it takes to make this country feel safe. His grief shows compassion to the innocent victims families, those here and over seas. It shows that he is a normal american like the rest of us and not a power hungry dictator that could careless about his people, and this is why we re-elected him.

But for those people who oppose Bush and his ideas your chance to stop him would of been when he was ranting about his "war on terror". These people could of stopped and asked questions about how he planned on fighting a war on terror when terror is a feeling of being scared. It is physically impossible to fight a war on terror. It is possible however to fight a war on "Terrorists" which would of been more specific and better worded. This is an example of how we as Americans either don't care enough to ask questions or are so wrapped up in emotion and will believe anything that comes out a politicians mouth because we want to believe that they are here for every single persons best intrest.

As we gather tonight, two teams walk on the field to fight for the war of the AL series. By bringing hope to the people of their cities searching for a world series title, they are making their cities known to the county.

Robbie Clark Blog post #6

"The point was to inhale. That was the point."
-Barack Obama, November 26, 2007, a response to a question about medicinal marijuana and a reference to Bill Clinton.
This is from a man that can own up to his mistakes and learn from them. This person can be respected for his honesty and ability to move on from a less than perfect background. We all know that humans are flawed beings and we accept that fact. But should we expect that of our possible leaders.
This statement is powerful because it is straight to the point. Barack Obama chooses not to bullshit his way around the question but tells it like it is. No one can make excuses for what they have done. It is a perfectly natural trait to be curious, experiment, and test the boundaries of what it means to be human.
I do not believe that there is any way that this quotation can be improved. It is short, to the point, and effective. It can also be applied to many different circumstances that may be seen as questionable by a discriminating audience.
“Make no excuse for your actions, live up to them.”

Brandewie's Blog

“We all made this journey for a reason. It's humbling, but in my heart I know you didn't come here just for me, you came here because you believe in what this country can be. In the face of war, you believe there can be peace. In the face of despair, you believe there can be hope. In the face of a politics that's shut you out, that's told you to settle, that's divided us for too long, you believe we can be one people, reaching for what's possible, building that more perfect union.”
This is an excerpt from one of Barack Obama’s countless speeches on the campaign trail. Barack Obama is a very eloquent speaker, and many of his speeches have contributed to his success as the Democratic nominee. When using spoken word to convince people to vote a certain way, it is important for the candidate to convince the public that his or her policies fit with the voters’ policies. This can be very difficult because the voters often times share a wide spread view opinions. In the first sentence, Obama uses the personal pronoun “we”. Obama already has included himself with anyone who is listening to the speech, a very important tactic to associate the voter with the candidate. In the second sentence, he mentions war and peace. At this point, the majority of America is unhappy with our aggressive moves overseas such as in Afghanistan and Iraq. Obama, however, mentions just the simple words of war and peace, keeping the listening audience interested. If Obama had went in a rant about what we need to do overseas, many people would be turned off because they might not agree with his policies. This is what makes is so right and so wrong at the same time in politics. If Obama would have explained the policies he plans to implement, probably less people would vote for him. The voting public harms itself by clinging to statements that are broad and general because they are unsure what they are supporting. As stated throughout Orwell’s essay of “Politics and the English Language”, modern English lends itself to be general rather than specific. It is something that we, the voting public, are responsible for because we do not demand clear, specific speech from our politicians. In the third senctence, Obama speaks broadly again by saying “In the face of despair, you believe there can be hope.” This is another broad sentence that is impossible to disagree with. The next sentence provides more of the same. Nonetheless a politician must be very skilled to construct a sentence that anyone will agree with, no matter the wide spectrum of different people that will hear it. Here is the second sentence of the excerpt remodeled and used effectively.
In the middle of defeat, the Chicago Bears were able to capitalize on mistakes and win the game

BLog 6 Gentlemans' Rule

"The student is expected to conduct himself at all times, both on and off the campus, as a gentleman and a responsible citizen."

-Wabash College-

As everyone knows this rule has been under a bunch of scrutiny these last few weeks.  I believe if people look at the direct words there is not any room for error; therefore, the rule I believe is a good one.  The first few words "The student is" are set in stone and whoever reads it knows that the Gentleman's rule talks about each and every student as an individual not as a group.  If it said "The students are" then people could find error and say that the rule was not very specific about who it was directed to.  The next word said in this phrase "expected" tells the student how they should act and how everyone will be looking at them.   The rest of this phrase "conduct himself at all times" again verifies the student on an individual basis, not a group.  The verb conduct is also a concrete statement that needs little explanation.  It is not to act, or to carry out which leave room for argument.  If it was "The student is expected to act himself at all times, ..." people would think that however the student acted before he came to Wabash is acceptable.  For some students it probably is, but for others they might need to change a few minor details to meet this rule. 

The second part of the sentence breaks for assurance.  "Both on and off the campus" makes the student know that acting as a responsible citizen is not acceptable only on campus.  Once again, this gives little room for mistake in the rule.  This break also helps the reader to think about, comprehend, and reflect about what he/she read at the beginning of the rule.  

The third part clarifies how the student should conduct himself with more concrete word choices that have one meaning.  "Gentleman" and "Responsible citizen" are two words that are not often used in today's society.  One reason is because not too many people can be called these.  A gentleman in my definition is someone who does the little things in life: opens a door for others, picks up trash when they pass it on the ground, kind, caring, honest.  Pretty much if someone does the right thing when no one is looking makes up a gentleman.  A responsible citizen is someone who follows the law and does right from wrong.  If a person knows that what they are doing is wrong will they stop?  This is a question many may ask for a gentleman and responsible citizen.

If I were to put synonyms in for the words I mentioned above there would be many loopholes in the rule.

"The students are anticipated to perform themselves at all times as a chap and an accountable person."

Gimme Shelter

"Oh, a storm is threatning my very life today. If I dont get some shelter oh yeah, Im gonna fade away. War, children, its just a shot away. Its just a shot away. War, children, its just a shot away. Its just a shot away."-Rolling Stones 1969

The part of the lyrics from the rolling stones' song "Gimme Shelter" is written in a way to help with the anti-war movement in 1969. The song opens with "storm, threatning, and life" as if they were personally affected by the events in the year 1969. They use "War, children" together because war and children don't make a good mix. A lot of people don't want to see their child go off to war so the put the two together to make the people discourage the war. They then use "its just a shot away" to make its seem as if we are on the tipping point of this catastrophe. In the song They cover some of the events happening in 1969 such as the Vietnam War, The My Lai Massacre, and the Anti-war demonstrations taking place in Washington D.C.

"Oh, a storm is brewing, my life won't be the same. If we don't find a solution then my life can be claimed. Murder, Econ, its just a step away."

Grant McCloskey Week #6

“A man may drink because he feels himself to be a failure, and then fail all the more completely because he drinks”- Orwell Politics and the English Language

I find this expert powerful not only in its structure but also in its meaning. Orwell in the first part before the comma addresses why the man drinks, he drinks because he does in fact feel like he is a failure. He then goes on to say that he will all the more fail because he does drink. I really like this quote. The comma however makes this quote.

The purpose of a comma is to give a brief pause in a sentence to separate two ideas. In this case it is a cause and effect separated by the comma. He gave the cause of why the man drinks, then he stated the repercussions if he were to continue to drink. The quote would lose its power and flow if it were being split into two sentences. For starters the second part would not be able to stand on its own as a sentence without some rewording. The comma allows it to say together as keep its power.

I feel that a comma in writing is a very useful tool, but it should also be used in moderation. Keep together what cannot be left by itself, and separate into new sentences, which will help the reader comprehend better. Short sentences like Orwell’s above are perfect of the comma, but it is the long-winded sentences that tend to lose the readers attention.

This expert is not only powerful in the words, but also its punctuation. This sentence would not be what it is without the use of the comma. Remember to use in moderation however.  

“A man may sit back and reflect on his accomplishments, but in doing that he is giving his peers all the time in the world to pass him by”- Grant McCloskey 

Weekly Blog 6_Lunkun Deng

We will begin the study of grammar with basic sentences—the sentence patterns; we will then look at the separate parts of the patterns; and finally we will examine the systematic way we expand and modify and combine them. (Martha Kolln, Understanding English Grammar)


I think this paragraph that I take from the book “Understanding English Grammar” is a model pattern of cohesion and coherence. The paragraph consists of three sentences. All the three sentences are coherent in both structure and contents.

In regards to structure, the first sentence uses the word “begin” as the signal. Following the first one, the second sentence uses the signal word “then” as the mark of time. At last, the word “finally” continues the third sentence from the second one.

In regards of contents, the first sentence gives us the general information of what we well study. We will study “grammar”, to be more specific, basic sentences—the sentence patterns. The second sentence then makes a transition from “sentence patterns” to a more detailed “separate parts of the patterns”. Finally the last sentence takes the information “separate parts of the patterns”, which is familiar to us readers as stated before, into new information “systematic way”.

The whole paragraph starts with general information and then become more specific in detailed aspects of the general parts mentioned before. It would be a good way in introduce a professional subject.


I will start my research paper with the relationship between ideology and economy; I will then introduce some certain political system’s effect in economy; and finally I will take China as an example to explore how the combination of socialism and capitalism contribute to the development of China in recent decades.

Weekly blog for eng Ethan Flater

A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.
Albert Einstein (brainyquote.com)

This quote is powerful through how it starts, it starts with "A person" which could piont at anything from ourselves or peole we know. Then it makes a simple yet cleaver statment about people who don't try anything in life can not accompish anything new. This is powerful because it can strick you istantly with a statment of someone you know who does this or yourself.

A person who never eats cereal never got the full value of a ballanced breakfast.

Nick's Blog

“Fierce as a dog with tongue lapping for action, cunning as a savage pitted against the wilderness.” Carl Sandburg “Chicago” (Chicago Poems)

As I was reading Sandburg’s poem, this sentence caught my attention. Each clause begins with a very powerful adjective (fierce and cunning) that tend to change the tone of the poem. The words fierce and cunning suggest a more hostile environment in which only the strong can survive. Also, the two verbs, found in this phrase, (lapping and pitted) are not your everyday words and serve as an exaggeration for the comparison of the city of Chicago to the dog and the savage. The word lapping creates the effect that the dog is drooling in anxiety waiting to strike at any moment. And, the word pitted produces an unfavorable environment even for the cunning savage.

The reason Sandburg includes this phrase is to connect these two uncommon things to Chicago. The dog and savage serve as a metaphor to help illustrate the persona of the city. Sandburg believes that the people of Chicago are as fierce as the dog and as cunning as the savage. These two comparisons portray the wild, untamed side of the jungle (Chicago).

“Strong as a boxer with fists throbbing for battle, trusting as a friend struggling against unfavorable odds” Nick Curosh

Weekly blog Ethan Flater Wallace

"This is so stupid it practically drools."
David Foster Wallace "Tense present Democracy, English, and the Wars over Usage" pg 47

This quote is powerful through the imagery it portrays in the quote. You can actually see a drooling person. Another way it is powerful is through its tone that can be interpreted in
many ways. One sense of tone could be a funny lighter sense of comical tone. The other way is almost the opposite because it could seem frustrated and angry about how stupid something is.

model
This is so gruesome it practically bleeds.

Brandewie's Blog

“It’s a belief that says if this nation was truly founded on the principles of freedom and equality, it could not sit idly by while millions were shackled because of the color of their skin. That if we are to shine as a beacon of hope to the rest of the world, we must be respected not just for the might of our military, but for the reach of our ideals. That if this is a land where destiny is not determined by birth or circumstance, we have a duty to ensure that the child of a millionaire and the child of a welfare mom have the same chance in life. That if out of many, we are truly one, then we must not limit ourselves to the pursuit of selfish gain, but that which will help all Americans rise together.”
This speech was given by Barack Obama after receiving the Robert F. Kennedy human rights award. The first impression from the context of the speech that Obama’s only objective in the speech was to accept the award and dish out some advice. However, Obama is also trying to prove with the upcoming election that validity of his leadership. In the first sentence, Obama effectively contrasts the adjectives “freedom and equality” and “with millions were shackled because of the color of their skin”. He draws a line to slavery, without mentioning it. The second sentence has a very fitting metaphor, “beacon of hope”, which allows Obama to mention one of the words so commonly used in his campaign to talk about Robert Kennedy. He further goes on to mention “a child of a millionaire and a child of a welfare mom have a same chance on life.” As Barack Obama goes deeper into the speech, he begins to turn himself into a “Robert Kennedy like” icon without sounding pompous or self gratifying. In the last sentence, the verbiage used sounds like a campaign speech, but also fits in a tribute to Robert Kennedy. This paragraph shows to grace in the English language. Obama had great skill to comment on the greatness of a legendary politician, and include how he is similar. He did all of that without sounding like he was bragging. I will now take the last sentence and show how it can be used to fit in another context.
That if different people across the county can bad together, not limit our play for the gratification of individual statistics, but rather fight together to win the All-Star Championship.